One day this mechanic, Tony, was working late under a car and some brake fluid accidentally dripped into his mouth.
"WOW!! This stuff isn't too bad tasting," he thought to himself.
The next day he told his buddy about tasting the brake fluid.
"It's really not bad...in fact, I think I'll try to have some more today."
His buddy was a little concerned but didn't say anything.
Next day Tony told his buddy about drinking a full cup of the brake fluid.
"Great Stuff! Think I'll have some more today." And so he did.
A few days later he was up to a bottle a day, and told his friend, "This break fluid is the world's greatest tasting stuff!"
His friend was now really worried.
"You know, Tony, that brake fluid is poison and it's really nasty stuff. You better stop drinking it!"
"Hey, no problem," he told his buddy....
(wait...)
(wait...)
(ready...)
(ok...)
"I can stop any time!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Four women were driving across the country. Each one was from a different state: Idaho, Nebraska, Florida and New York.
Shortly after the trip began, the woman from Idaho started pulling potatoes from her bag and throwing them out of the window.
"What the heck are you doing?" demanded the Nebraskan.
"We have so many of these darn things in Idaho, I am just sick of looking at them!"
A moment later, the gal from Nebraska began pulling ears of corn from her bag and tossing them from the window.
"What are you doing that for?" asked the gal from Florida.
"We have so many of these things in Nebraska, I am just sick of looking at them!"
Inspired, the gal from Florida opened the car door and pushed the New Yorker out....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A farm boy accidentally overturned a wagon load
of corn on the road. A nearby farmer saw the accident and went over to have a look and found the boy trying to right the tipped wagon. "Hey Willie," the farmer said., "Forget your troubles for a spell and come have dinner with us. I'll help you with that wagon after we eat."
"That's mighty nice of you, but Pa wouldn't like that," Willie replied. "You need a break," the farmer insisted. "Well, okay, " the boy finally agreed. "But Pa won't like it." After a hearty meal, Willie thanked the farmer. "I feel a lot better now, but I just know that Pa will be upset." "Nonsense," the farmer said. "Where is your pa anyway?" "Under the wagon."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
During a recent publicity outing, Jennifer sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute. In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Jennifer stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question.
"Will I be acquitted?"
