Just have too many today!!
Two lifeguards are working together on a beach when one of them notices sharks circling a woman who has drifted out a little too far. He begins to get up to race to her rescue when the other lifeguard grabs his arm and holds him back.
The first lifeguard says,"Why are you holding me back? We have to go save that woman!"
To which the other replies, "Don't worry. That woman is my mother-in-law."
"Are you trying to kill her?"
"Although the idea may be tempting, that is not my intent. Just watch."
With that, the sharks organize themselves beneath the woman, and ride her on their backs all the way to shore, safely depositing her.
"What in the world gave you the notion that would happen," asked the first lifeguard.
Marriage and illness.....
Sugar dumpling, I've really been worried about my baby girl. That's a bad sniffle and there's no telling about these things with all the strep that's going around. I'm going to put you in the hospital for a general check-up and a good rest. I know the food's terrible, but I'm going to bring you dinner every night from Rosini's. I've got it all arranged with the floor supervisor.
Listen, darling, I don't like the sound of that cough. I'm going to call Doc Miller to rush over here. Now you go to bed like a good girl just for papa.
Maybe you'd better lie down, honey. Nothing like little rest when you feel lousy. I'll bring you something. Have we got any canned soup?
Why don't you take a couple of aspirins?
Now look, dear, be sensible. After you've fed the kids and gotten the dishes done and the floor mopped, you'd better lie down for a while.
Why you'd just gargle or something instead of sitting around barking like a seal all evening!
Would you stop coughing on me?!? Are you trying to give me pneumonia?
ahh true love!!