yeah, numbers 3 and 5 i was notorius for, you really dont realize how stupid you are when you drink, much less how stupid it is TO drink !

Hey Steve...

Hey Steve...

Hey Steve...


ROFL!

[ 11-02-2001: Message edited by: embie ]

Hey Steve...

seems to me that something's wrong with that posting

HYMNS

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

He said, "Today in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing
whatever hymn that comes to your mind."

The pastor shouted out, "Cross." Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "The Old Rugged Cross."

The pastor hollered out, "Grace." The congregation began to sing,
"Amazing Grace, How Sweet the Sound."

The pastor said, "Power." The congregation sang, "There is Power in the Blood."

The pastor said, "Sex."
The congregation fell in total silence Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.

Then all of a sudden from way back of the church a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing, "Precious Memories."

Lisa, that is too cute

aleina

Good ones...I needed a laugh today...

thanx...

Why I Love Moms...

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said,
"I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.
Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar
container, put spoons and bowls on the table
and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the game
pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.
She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.
She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.
She put both near her purse.
Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night Solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed." "I'm on my way," she said.

She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked.
She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack.
She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list.
She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.



About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular.
"I'm going to bed." And he did...without another thought.

Anything extraordinary here?
Wonder why women live longer...?
'CAUSE WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL......

HIGH FIVE !

it just seems like you are around longer...

OMG...altho I hate to admit it, that WAS funny Allen...

This guy was asked...if you had only 6 months to live what would you do? After careful consideration he answered sincerely, I would live with my Mother-in-law.

Surprised by that response, he was asked why your mother-in-law?

The man replied "Cos if I lived with my mother-in-law, it would be the longest 6 months of my life..."

Am I the ONLY guy in the world that actually LOVES his in-laws???

I think you better start showing some truly manly characteristics or the other men are gonna boot you outta here...

You ARE the weakest link... GOODBYE!

[ 11-07-2001: Message edited by: embie ]

yeah, like you are making all the young guys look good, and the oldies look like they are laggin' ... hey and by the way, why isnt there a dude's forum ?

every forum is the dude's forum

You ladies keep forgetting, he's a newlywed... he wakes up and the the sun is shining, spring has sprung, and love's in the air...

"How are you dear?"

"Great now that you are home... I've missed you..."

"Yes, I've missed you too honey... it's sad that I have to leave your side and take the trash out once a week."

"I know, maybe we can get the neighbor kid to do it for us, you work too hard already supporting our new little family."

"Doesn't that sound great! My whole life I've been looking for you and God saw it in His great mercy to send me someone so perfect."

"Thank you, but you were the perfect one sent for me... I am unworthy for so great a love as yours. God is so good to me. Isn't life grand? I *love* you!"

"I love you more..."

"I love *you* more..."

"Me..."

"No, me..."

"Hey, do you realize we just had our first argument? I am so sorry.. please forgive me."

"It was my fault, forgive me... I love you too much to fight."

"That's so sweet snookums, I love you too..."

"What would you like to do this evening? We haven't talked about our future plans since.. ummm.. yesterday."

"Yes! We were meant to be! I love to hear you say "future", it means so much to me... I love you when you do that."

"I love that you love when I do that..."

"I love you more..."

"No, I love *you* more..."

ROFL really, tears well up .. that was funny .. but are we a tad BITTER ? aw, you remember the gooshy stuff ellen ???

Please someone print that out and give it to Ell.. I mean Allen whenever he gets married!!

aleina

Allen...? Married????? With HIS attitude towards women????????????? Hmmmmmm....I dunno about that...

I do sense a little "newlywed-itis", tho with Kingpin... Not that it's a bad thing, tho. Each relationship has it's stages...that's just (from the outside looking in) one of the more sickening stages of them all...