I started doing this out of boredom in my SAT Prep class. I'd write out what I was thinking in the order that I thought it and give it to some random person in the hall. Now I have a bunch of people who can't wait for the next page (I even made a new friend). So here's mine from earlier today. Make your own.


-Indians are like Christmas trees. Pulled from their home and shipped away. They're given a select location for a period of time where they're given enough food to survive, until of course, we get bored with it/them and take them out back and blow them up (Well, in my family we blow them up... In other normal families they let the garbage men take them.). Stop the Trail of Tears II. Stop the cruelty. End the morbid Christmas tree tradition.

-Sometimes I wonder if the person I'm meant to be with is right in front of me and I don't even know it.

-I wonder what I'll get mom for christmas.

-Why do we give gifts on Christmas? I don't see the logic.

-Why is Ingles' colors red and green? Are they proud supporters of Christmas?

-I hate the word "faggot." Anyone who says it should be killed on the spot.

-Everyone thinks riding the bus is degrading. I don't see how. Aside from the screaming kids who've yet to have a moment of serenity in their life, it's not so bad.

-Fish should not be pets.

-Tigers should be.

-Love shack. Baby love shack. That song runs through my mind 24 hours a day.

-Tea is gross. It's leaves in water. Leaves fall in my pool, you don't see people drinking much of that.

-When I was three or four, I used to be afraid to go into the kitchen at night because the microwave monster would eat me. Mom told me to crawl really quietly into the kitchen, open the microwave, and scream really loud. I did, and I scared the monster so bad he packed up and moved to Texas.

-I once thought I was pregnant with the antichrist. Turned out to be gas.

-I used to walk through the aisles of walmart with my arms extended knocking all the toys off the shelf. When I heard the announcement for a clean up on aisle 14, I felt accomplished.

-I had a sleep over with 10 girls on Friday. What fun. Mom was excited that I had friends.

-Chancey should move to Yemen.

-I have pink socks.

-SAT Prep is the most worthless class in the entire world.

-I can't wait to have kids... and get married. Not in any particular order.

-I'm slightly embarrassed to announce that I'm an official teeny bopper. I just subscribed to my fourth, yes fourth, teeny bopper magazine.

-I also subscribed to ModernBride. One day I'll be married.

-I took a test to see what my occupation should be. It narrowed it down to three things. A teacher, a rock splitter, or a telemarketer. How nice.

-My dog slept in my bed while I was at school, and now it smells like dog.

-I hate the holidays. I get so fat and juicy.

-We should have a 30 minute hot chocolate time, in addition to lunch.

-Chemistry blows.

-What ever happened to nap time?

-Remember in elementary school when teachers told you print wasn't allowed in middle or highschool? They lied. Liars.

-I was always a weird little kid. I used to pull my eyes back and hold them there because my mom once told me my face would stick like that. Liar.

-She also told me that if I stuck my finger too far into my belly button, my head would pop off.

-The toothfairy stole five bucks from my night stand.

-We have these new toilets at ingles that flush in mid-pee.

-We also have a spray thingy that can sense odor and sprays. So now, you walk into a field of strawberries instead of deli-woman poop.

-How come when someone tells you they have lice, you suddenly feel compelled to itch your scalp off?

-Poor Indians.

-Poor Christmas trees.

-I'm glad I'm not an indian... or a christmas tree.

-I'm glad I'm not rich.

-Why get breast implants when there are padded bras?

-Why does mom insist on giving me my lunch money in nickles? Does she think I enjoy jingling down the hallway. Maybe around Christmas it won't be so bad.

-If I were a better person, I'd be a vegetarian.

-Chemistry makes me want to dig my eyes out with a spork.

Ashley,

You are an extremely funny and yet compassionate human being.

Thanks.

Well you are quite busy................


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">If I were a better person, I'd be a vegetarian.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Do you know HOW MANY VEGETABLES HAVE TO DIE to make a salad or a bowl of soup?? Cruel, just cruel

-When I was three or four, I used to be afraid to go into the kitchen at night because the microwave monster would eat me. Mom told me to crawl really quietly into the kitchen, open the microwave, and scream really loud. I did, and I scared the monster so bad he packed up and moved to Texas.

Note: He moved into Allen's kitchen to share that year old orange juice

-We also have a spray thingy that can sense odor and sprays. So now, you walk into a field of strawberries instead of deli-woman poop.

You are too funny...I think you're missing your calling..stand-up comedian...you are the coolest...it's always refreshing reading your posts...luv ya

The bed now smells like dog, that is really funny, your stream-of-consicousness is hillarious, thanks for the upbeat reality humor

Ashley,

I think you're a hoot and the gift of laughter or a smile is one of the best gifts a person can give. I did both, Thank You.

The rest of y'all,

I'm very new but I like it here.

-I'm currently reading three books. Catalyst, Confederacy of Dunces, and Utopia. All are quite interesting.

-Today was an interesting day. I got a huge pimple on my cheek, I fell asleep in Chem, drooled all over my shirt and had a huge line on my face from the book I was resting against, I burnt my tongue on a french fry, stepped in an unidentifiable liquid in the restroom, spilled milk on a lunch lady, and got my shirt stuck in my locker. Amazingly I was still in a good mood. Now, had my ovary imploded, that would've been the last straw.

-I wonder if teachers get offended when they look up and more than 55% of the class is drooling on themselves.

-I wonder if they think they're doing something wrong.

-I wonder if they spend their nights wondering what they're doing wrong instead of asking us.

-The answer of course, don't turn off the lights so we can see the over-head.

-I hope everyone gets a huge uncoverable pimple at least once in their life.

-Why is it impossible to leave target spending under $30?

-I bought a cup. A cup. Do I need a cup? Do I want a cup? Hell, do I even USE a cup? I drink straight from the bottle. But of course, it had my name on it, so that gave me liscense to buy it. I'm such a dork. I'm going to take it back.

-Roy Barnes is a horrible man.

-Humpus Bumpus is a funny name. Heh.

-Chatrooms are stupid. Alls they ever say is "asl?" If I wanted everyone to know my age and where I live, I'd sign up at www.pedophilia.com

-My dog chases the vacuum... and her tail.

-I have detention.

Someone wrote on the dry erase board, "Life is like rainbows, so happy, and joyful, and colorful." in all these bright colors. I don't know why this sparked anger in me, but it did. So I wrote in all black "Life sucks and then you die." The whole class was going to have detention unless I confessed, so I did. *sigh* 15 minutes out of my life. Yay.

-Why do women pluck their eyebrows? That's the single most painful thing in the world! And for what? Skinny eyebrows? How often do you look at someone and say "Wow, they have big eyebrows?"

-Okay, it's not the most painful. Bikini waxing is. I did that once and won't ever do it again. I used that stupid Nair roll on crap. I tore the first one out and almost bit my tongue off. I actually started bleeding. I already had the other side ready to go--It took a half hour to scrub that crap off. DON'T EVER DO THAT TO YOURSELF! It brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it.

-Mom is freaking out because she bought some silverware for us to buy from her to give to her for Christmas (Isn't that confusing?). Well, it's gold, and I told her they were ugly and now she's freaking out. Spaz. What does it matter if I like them? I went with her to take them back to get silver ones, and we left with the gold ones. *Sigh* She's so fickle. I know where I get it.

-My mom is the tupperware queen. Although now, we can't find a single lid so we cover it all with suran wrap.

-School lunch is going to give me future heart failure.

-In the chicken line, theres a picture of a chicken. Don't you find that sort of odd? I mean, like I want to look at the happy little chicken frolicing through the farm right before I eat it?

-We have these little credit cards for lunch, and we have to punch in our "pin number." That's so unsanitary. Think about all those hands and where they've been. Under desks, in their pants, up their nose. Ew. And then I use those same germs to eat my food. <shudder>

-Someone wrote on the bathroom wall, "I love Chris." No better way to show you love someone than by putting it on the bathroom wall.

-I love it when people talk about their sex life on the bathroom walls. That makes me happy. No better feeling than knowing what someone did last friday while peeing.

-I've been on the bathroom wall a few times. Apparently my brother is 'super hott' and I'm a 'little turd.' Interesting.

-I like reading people's poetry on the bathroom wall. I guess when nature calls, so does people's artistic side. Someone wrote one about a dog (I think it was a dog... maybe an ex boyfriend) that they ran over. It was sad.

-I don't like the colors red white and blue. I think we should change them to pastel pink, blue, and yellow. Those are strong colors.

-I spent $28 on pictures. EEK! I can't believe myself.

-I like my brother's new girlfriend. I hope she works out. I'd like her to be my sister-in-law.

-I need a shower--I stink.

-I work 16 hours this weekend... 16! Eeep! I can hardly stand to be there 4 hours ever week.

-Sometimes you feel like a nut.

-Sometimes you don't.

-This girl I know is getting her braces off. I wish I had braces. Then I'd have braces and glasses! That'd be neato. Maybe I could get mom to splurg and get me a pocket protector.

-Yeah, enough thinking--It's time to be an American. All the good shows are coming on.

LOL

Too funny!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">-Someone wrote on the bathroom wall, "I love Chris." No better way to show you love someone than by putting it on the bathroom wall.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Yes there is.... spray painting it on an overpass.

You all rock my socks.

I'm glad my thoughts are appreciated.

Just to let you know what happens when I read you Ashley. Love it kiddo, I just hope the people in your everday life appreciate you as they should. If I had a daughter, hope she'd be like you. But, then, I'm certifiable so what do I know.

I think this is the sarcastic me. This summer I was a little bummed out and I dunno. I developed this whole sarcastic outlook. I don't know where it came from--but I really enjoy being around me now. My mom calls me Daria. Though, sometimes it's not so great because people think I'm being negative just to be negative, but really I'm just laughing at the situation.

I hope this isn't something I grow out of, but something I learn to tame.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Why do women pluck their eyebrows? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Why this is simple! So they have two ROFLOLOLOLO

You keep on!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I don't know where it came from</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">It's called being a teenager.

YOU are a hoot.

I think more than anything, this has become a release. Some people in my class started making theirs, though theirs are more what they think of other people. Hm.


Todays:

-Mistake number one: Letting people you know face to face read your journal. They look at you funny. Apparently I'm totally different when I write in my journal. Hm. Yeah, I don't think so. I think I just surpress thoughts.

-In SAT prep, my newest buddy Haeli was reading through Simpson's quotes. Some of them were so funny. This one was my favorite:

Moe: If I ever find you, I'm going to tear your eyeballs out and shove them down your pants so you can watch me kick your [censored]. And then, I'm going to use your tongue to paint my boat.

-Have I mentioned how worthless SAT Prep is?

-Have you had your break today?

-Yeah, so I was asked out on a date for Sunday. I said I'd consider it, but really, I don't want to go. I like the guy fine, I guess--I think it's just too soon after Chancey. I mean, I need my break. Guys are retarded. Though, I'm sure this guy would treat me better as I was informed that he's been kissing the ground I walk on for almost 7 months now, I just don't want that right now. I appreciate that he worships the ground I walk on, and I understand--because afterall, I am the greatest person in the entire world , but for sure I don't want a relationship. Ta-da.

-I've had my job for nine months. That's a long time--enough time to have a baby.

-I should stop letting others dictate my life. Just because they want me to do something (go out with someone) doesn't mean I should do it.

-

-I enjoy writing. It makes life so easy.

-Trouble lies in sullen pools along the road I've taken.
Sightless windows stare the empty street
No love beckons me save that which I've forsaken.
The anguish of my solitude is sweet.
-Robert Mitchum.

-I stabbed myself with a highlighter today. I felt like an idiot walking around with a big orange dot on my chest.

-I had crab salad for lunch. I brought it from home. Mom made it. It was guuuuud.

-I remember when I was a freshman, I went to the doctor because my stomach hurt on and off for about two months (Only I didn't want to be a complainer so I didn't tell anyone.) Well--the doctor asks me to sit on that little bed (I remember wondering if anyone ever died on that bed) and then she pulled one of those Mortal Kombat moves and thrust her hand into my stomach, rearranged all of my organs, and when she pulled away, I was half expecting my liver to be in her hand--but it wasn't. She proclaimed that I was "faking," and sent me home with laxatives as my punishment. I hate going to the doctor.

-People are suing McDonalds? Wow. Since when did Americans stop taking responsibility for their own actions?

-I like my generation. Though there's quite a few people who I'd like to bite, the vast majority is great. They're open and honest--if you ask them, they will tell (don't ask.).

-What is it with teenaged boys and porn? It's not enough that they watch/look at it at home, but they have to bring it to school. <shudder> If I have to see one more naked chick on a bike, I'm going to hurl my lung up and throw it at someone.

-My friend's dog died. She came to school crying and made me all upset--and I gave her a big hug. It was sad.

-I learned to say my alphabet backwards before I learned to say it forwards. Interesting, no? zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba. Impressed? That's my secret talent.

-In the eighth grade my hair got stuck in Billy Pilcher's zipper. That was the single most humiliating moment of my life... wait... Aside from the farting in my spanish class.

-If the ants go marching three by three, will they leave the little one behind when he climbs the tree? What neglectful ants.

-I tell my cat I love her, and she licks her butt. How nice.

-I love how I open my email, and there's a hundred porn ads, ten "free stuff" ads, and one penis enlargement. You'd think they'd at least find out the gender of the people they're going to spam.

-I'm in the mood for Hershey's with Almonds.

-Yay.

What a riot, don't ever lose the abilty to be cynical, it comes in handy when you HAVE to find the humor in life ! SO many of those things you just spurt out I want to talk to you about ! I have tons of random thoughts (they usually hit late at night) and everyone thinks I am flaky, maybe flaky people just think more than others !

keep em coming, they are hillarious, I love sarcasm !

You are too funny... LOL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">-In the eighth grade my hair got stuck in Billy Pilcher's zipper. That was the single most humiliating moment of my life... wait... Aside from the farting in my spanish class.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I'm sure there more story here. LOL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by anangelsarms:
SO many of those things you just spurt out I want to talk to you about ! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Feel free.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I have tons of random thoughts </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Post 'em up!

Josh: I forgot--I post stuff in Girlworld and forget that you all can't see it. We had this whole topic called Embarrassing Moments--Oh goodness.

Hair in Zipper: In the eighth grade, we had these lockers, you either got a bottom locker, or a top locker. I'm short, I had the bottom locker, and Billy Pilcher, the biggest most racist redneck I've ever met had the locker above mine. I don't know what he was doing--I don't care to know, but when I got up, I was pulled back down and kinda thrust into his ... mmm... manhood. He tried to pull his zipper down, by my hair was all tangled. One of the people watching and laughing grabbed a teacher and she tried to get it out and failed. I end up having to be carried by Billy (In a very awkward way that wouldn't have my hair pulled out) down to the clinic where they free my hair from his zipper. *sigh* Yeah. The whole eighth grade saw--and laughed--and I cried. Wasn't good stuff, but now it's kinda funny. People still talk about that.

Farting in spanish class: Last year I was sitting doing a worksheet, when I fart--just fart like it's nothing--like it's something I do on a regular basis. It wasn't even a normal fart--it was all compressed due to the plastic-like chairs. Yeah. You think that's enough emtional distress to place on someone, wouldn't you? No. I was so embarrassed that my stomach wouldn't cooperate with me. I puked in the teachers garbage can.

Yay.

Oh my!
Yeah, I don't see GirlWorld.

My dirty mind wanted to say "what zipper was it stuck in?" LOL But I thought I had better not.

Turns out that was the zipper I was thinking.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">-I'm currently reading three books. Catalyst, Confederacy of Dunces, and Utopia. All are quite interesting. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">How do you hold up three books at a time for reading?

<img border="0" alt="" title="" src="graemlins/wavey.gif" />

I'm Eric...nice to meet you Ashley.