Hey yall. can i ask for some prayers here. i havent said anything cause i thought the docs could figure it out and i wouldnt have to complain. i am sooo tired of complaining, but prayer works, so here goes ...
ever since my husb. quit his job to start his own business and get out of corporate america, we have been struggling to keep up this lifestyle we chose. we have been on one car for about a year, havent paid hoa dues, low on groceries and wonder how we are going to pay for the doctors. it has been getting worse. the tough thing about this is that john has been going thru a conversion of sorts, where he is happier with himself and family and his priorities are more aligned with what God would want. he has a job now, but is making half of what he was. he is growing to be a better person, and is overall happier.
i am a passenger. i feel like i am here to trust and follow him, and support him. now the stress and life change is making me sick. i have been throwing up twice to three days at least a week for a few months. my blood pressure has been high, all of a sudden since april. i am bleeding in places and cant sleep. i am not self medicating, which is a newbie for me, and i am off most medicines. the weight loss is handy (not the way it needed to go down) but i still cant eat. i constantly have a lump in my throat and suffer thru not throwing up every day. i went to the doc for this, and they found gastritis, removed some polyps and said take some antacid and come back in a week. i also see the cardiologist tomorrow. i wont even mention my back or my migraines, they just arent up on the list. i wish i knew what to do and what was wrong. it is rotten.
i am angry, and moody and hurt. i am cleaning out things upstairs cause we are going to literally have to go into forclosure on this house ... i am not attached to the house, but it's the only home my kids have known and alayna will start school soon, make friends then have to move. i am trying not to fall apart but AM from the inside out. not to mention, i am not talking to my mother due to an altercation back in june.
at least i can cry.
please pray ... take your pick. it's pretty cruddy right now.
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-Knowledge and human power are synonymous; since the ignorance of the cause frustrates the effect- Francis Bacon (my senior quote)