I have always felt I related to David of the Bible. It seemed like I could fall into trouble as easy as sliding down a slide.
Today, I felt God telling me to look into His Word. I have not been doing that lately. I have not even been going to church. I set my alarm. Then I get up turn it off and tell myself I can sleep another hour. Exactly what you are thinking is what happens... it is never an hour. I wake up two hours later. I comfort myself by saying well I am up early every day. I was just tired. Then I tell myself I will go to evening service. Either I do not notice the time OR I take a nap. I want to be there, I feel I should be there. I feel so guilty.
With my own short comings, trouble with #2 son, being so busy with work or the kids' schedules that I am not sure who I am. I just think to myself how can God help me, let alone answer my prayers if I am such a sinner often times back sliding person!!??
I have been thinking of David of the Bible much lately. One because I named my #2 son after him. I have had much heart break with my son. Two, because I, myself seem to have difficulty of my own making myself.
Why is David the Apple of God's eye? Why would God want him to known as that? David was a downright sinful lad. He did great things but he sure messed things up too.
David is not only the "apple of God's eye" but he is the "father of the messiah"!
Maybe I know the answers to all that I question or maybe I THINK I do.
If God cannot look upon sin and I am sinning then how can God look upon me? How can God answer my prayers, longings, heal me??
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No man for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter