"When they took the Fourth Amendment, I was silent because I don’t deal drugs. When they took the Sixth Amendment, I kept quiet because I know I’m innocent. When they took the Second Amendment, I said nothing because I don’t own a gun. Now they’ve come for the First Amendment, and I can’t say anything at all."
- Tim Freeman

Conversation with parents:

Mom: We need to come to a compromise about how late you stay up on the computer.
Me: 1 o'clock.
Mom: Twelve thirty.
Me: Alright!
Dad: No!!
Mom: It's 11:30--I can't think right. I don't mean 12:30
Me: Well that's what you said! Glad we can compromise! *close of parental bedroom door*
Muffled Mom through bedroom door: Ashley! Ashley, get back here!

-January 19, 2003

*Edited due to coding. Arg. Darn journal codes use </i>. I get so confuzzled.

It doesn't show last edited time? Well darn. I had to edit my edit because I used the wrong "due."

Arrg.

If you edit within a couple of minutes it won't say that you edited it.


You enjoy wearying your parents don't you

" Something unpredictable but in the end it's right, I hope you have the time of your life." --- Greenday

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

I'm not saying she was ugly, but...when she went camping, the bears built a fire to keep her away.

I know you are nobody's fool, but maybe somebody will adopt you.

Rolling Stones band member Bill Wyman married a 19 year-old model Mandy Smith in 1988. At the same time Wyman's son was engaged to Mandy Smith's mother. If his son had married Smith's mother, Wyman would have been the step grandfather to his own wife.

You can't have "your cake" and spell it "too".

"Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give."-- Cass Daley

A father called his local IRS office to ask if he could deduct the cost of his daughter's wedding as "a total loss."

Alcohol is a crash diet!

"I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me."-- Dick Martin


Did you hear about the self help group for compulsive talkers? It's called On & On Anon.

Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.

"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open."-- Groucho Marx

When a hospital runs out of maternity nurses they have a mid-wife crisis.

I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning." "What is she doing?" the pal asked. "Waiting for me to get home."

"Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense." - Mark Twain

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened."
- Winston Churchill

Some of the smallest telescopes, that can be bought from your local retail store, are more powerful than the one Galileo used to discover objects in our solar system.

Actor Mel Gibson's father won $21,000 on the TV game show "Jeopardy" in 1968.

The grapefruit got its name because of the way it grows in bunches, just like grapes.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Don't tell me to get to work... or I will have to take action. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">
It would be a whole lot easier if you would just agree with me in the beginning.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">:p

that's a good start... and I think someone skipped the gym tonight again, eh?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

"Pound for pound, the amoeba is the most vicious animal on earth."

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

No, I skipped at the gym tho...

Here's one you might recognize:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">
I am not a complete moron, some parts are missing.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">
"Life is understood looking backwards but it must be lived forwards."
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

God doesn't threaten and the devil doesn't warn...

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. Winston Churchill

Happy Valentines Day:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">
... If I could write the beauty of your eyes,
And in fresh numbers number all your graces,
The age to come would say 'This poet lies;
Such heavenly touches ne'er touched earthly faces.'
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Part of a Sonnet by William Shakespeare

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory. William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830) </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> Eternity is way too long to be wrong...</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">
"God doesn't play with dice"

Albert Einstein
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">