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Re: Random Thoughts #48808 08/05/03 09:38 PM
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ziggy Offline
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hehe, they're all pretty good, but I love the fourth one...

too true


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Re: Random Thoughts #48809 08/06/03 01:24 AM
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Ashley Offline OP

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*nevermind.


"Do you not understand?" -Jesus
Re: Random Thoughts #48810 10/13/03 03:00 AM
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Ashley Offline OP

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**

Seeing if I'm just stupid and can't post pictures. Disregard this.


"Do you not understand?" -Jesus
Re: Random Thoughts #48811 10/13/03 11:31 AM
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embie Offline
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It's not you Ashley...Allen has rigged the site to raise our frustration level...

It's just a test of will... tongue


When I don't measure up to much in this life, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ.
Re: Random Thoughts #48812 10/13/03 01:38 PM
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bah tongue

You mean like this?

[Linked Image]

hoppy


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- I don't need things, I need people - mb © 2002
Re: Random Thoughts #48813 10/14/03 03:40 AM
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Did you see that model BMW Z8??

ROFLOLOL tongue


"I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made - I'm a disciple of HIS.
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Re: Random Thoughts #48814 10/14/03 01:29 PM
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embie Offline
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When I don't measure up to much in this life, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ.
Re: Random Thoughts #48815 10/14/03 01:31 PM
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hey ashley...i'm really feeling this one! in fact, i think i may suggest it for our senior shirts!
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Ashley:

Idea Three:

(Front) GRADUATION

(Back) The end of a 12 year depression.

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">

Re: Random Thoughts #48816 12/12/03 08:28 PM
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Life is hectic. I've changed. We've all changed.

Throughout my four years of high school, each year the writings on the bathroom walls seems more and more lame. Maybe it was just my mentality at the time, but the writings on the wall used to be great. Not simple slander, but poems, words of wisdom, simple comments about school, or life in general.. Things with great meaning. The generations are getting more dull by the year.

My Michael was telling me stories of his childhood. These I thought were amazingly humorous:

He went paint balling in a forest behind his house with a bunch of his friends. Someone called the cops when they heard gunshots. So, the police came and made all of them drop their "guns." One boy, with very poor vision, thought more people came to play, so he stupidly ran at them aiming his gun at them. The police yelled, "FREEZE!" and were two seconds from shooting him before he realized what was happening and dropped in a panic. I nearly peed myself when I heard this story.

In his childhood, he also had a chicken that he walked on a leash in metropolitan Ohio. It died of a cold and his mother didn’t' have the heart to tell him, so she pretended she didn't know what he was talking about.

I am failing Algebra III with a whopping 57%. Fantastic. What's even more sad is that I don't care. I made a 2% on a test today. I got the 2% for writing my name. I threw in the towel weeks ago.

Our school's mascot is the "Raider." What is a Raider? There was an article in the school newspaper about it. 200 kids were polled--and their answers are ridiculous. Someone said a pirate... yet, our mascot is riding a horse. ...Do pirates ride horses? I think not. Let's use our imagination here... seriously. Like I said... dull.

The more time I spend in Government class, the more I want to be a Senator... and eventually a President. Really. Everyone thinks I'm kidding, but I'm so dead serious...

Michael has pin-pointed my political views and I haven't mentioned a word to him. I told him I refused to discuss them because living in the bible belt/100% Republican state, my views are often quite controversial. However, he told me he imagines that I'm very pro separation of church and state. Probably very feministic. And most likely very pro-immigration. How can someone know something like that when I never discuss how I feel?

It's also very sick that I don't know what it's like to be treated sweetly by a guy. Wow.

I have decided that I'm a raging sack of estrogen.

Did you know that frogs cannot jump backwards?

When I was younger, I lived in Ft. Lauderdale... I don't know if you've ever been to Florida, but there they have these HORRID looking ducks. Well... I was sitting in the back seat of my father's car, and one of these kamikaze ducks just slams into the window, falls very injured and pathetic looking, and then gets plowed by a soccer mom in a huge SUV. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or puke...

I have discovered ways to get around websense at school. Thus, I'm labled a "hacker." What? I am not. I don't know the first thing about hacking... Except when Napster was around--I figured out how to steal people's passwords and change them so they couldn't get their music. But I don't know if that was considered "hacking."

I think I'm a pretty loyal person.

I'm glad I took my senior science last year.

I'm suffering from senioritis. Do you know what that is? It's a nice term for "I'm lazy." It means I don't want to get up in the morning.

I threw my alarm clock this morning and knocked over a glass of stale hot chocolate. It looks like I mess myself in my bed. Fantastic.

My mother and I are too open with eachother. Remind me to never talk about masturbation with her... ever... again. *quiver*

Reality tv is getting old. Really. Something needs to happen... Like a bomb.

I think I'd make an amazing president.

I also think that my brother would make and amazing janitor... it Tibet.

Can you believe he had the AUDACITY to ask my mom if his girlfriend could move in? And much more, be my room mate? WHAT!?! Is he crazy? It's bad enough that I have an open hatred for his girlfriend, but he wants her to MOVE IN WITH ME? Yeah, he's insane. He needs a nice kick... in the throat. Pfft. Honestly. I haven't shared a room with anyone in 16 years. I'm not about to start. *quiver* Espeically not with HER.

My brother is dating someone who is 17 (my age) and I'm dating someone who is 21 (his age). Quite odd, no?

I went to court yesterday. I'm on 6 months probation. 6 months. Do I look like someone who belongs on probation? I have a right mind to look that judge in the eye and say, "I don't think you know who you're talking to! I'm homecoming princess. I'm most humorous of the senior class of 2004. I'm the designer of the senior class shirt. I was little Miss America of 89. There's going to be problems." Alas, I don't have the NERVE and she'd probably spit in my face.

I forgot how great making out is.

Also... the BEST part of making out is when the guy touches your face and neck... Wow. Wow. And Wow. It was nearly 8 months since I made out.

I love affection. And I love attention.

My whole government class is taking a nap right now. I'm not sure what I'm "supposed" to be doing, but it certianly isn't this.

School lets out in 6, count 'em, SIX minutes. And then Michael and I are going ice skating. Isn't that hopelessly romantic?

It's good when the boy that you adore wins the affection of your parents. =)

Life is so hectic. It's amazing that I can still manage to be happy in spite of everything.

I've decided that school lunch shouldn't be called "lunch" at all. It should be called "crap." Because that's what it looks like. That's what it tastes like. And that's what it smells like. And after eating it, that's what you want to do. It's a very fitting name.

I have to go. Have a good day. The bell will ring in 2 minutes. Pity. We were having so much fun. shocked


"Do you not understand?" -Jesus
Re: Random Thoughts #48817 12/12/03 11:03 PM
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Allen Offline
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Good to see you around smile

Senator's have to pass algebra classes, senioritis or not wink And next time point your mom to the 'touchy subject' thread if she needs to learn something tongue


- Allen [Linked Image]
- I don't need things, I need people - mb © 2002
Re: Random Thoughts #48818 12/12/03 11:07 PM
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Haha. My mom and I are very open about our sex talk. She's worried about me having sex, and I let her know that the moment I stop with my "personal time" is the moment she should be worried. Perhaps were a little TOO open.

I should be around a bit more, I think. Of course, I always say that... but I'm far less busy now.

*Random thought*

Mom just ran into my boyfriend at the grocery store and called to tell me so. I WAS grounded but...

Me: So do you mind if I go ice skating tonight?
Mom: You can go.
Me: REALLY?
Mom: He's so cute. How could I NOT let you?
Me: AW! I love you.

smile smile smile

I love my mom.


"Do you not understand?" -Jesus
Re: Random Thoughts #48819 12/15/03 04:29 AM
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rolleyes

Yeah, she is such a disciplinarian tongue


Hey! great seeing you've been out and about. I for one am really glad you areon probation 'specially when you consider the alternative eek


"I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made - I'm a disciple of HIS.
www.Real-Men.net
Re: Random Thoughts #48820 12/16/03 11:19 PM
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Ashley Offline OP

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Probation won't be so bad, I imagine. I hear they're really easy going... At least that's what all my probationish friends tell me.

Anyway, if you go to yahoo.com and type in "Forsyth County Jail" my post here is the first link. Due to this, MANY of my friends have found the website.

They're reading this thread. =)

Random thought of the day:

Just when you think you're going to fail Algebra III with a 55%, along comes a teacher who really cares (or really doesn't want to see you again next semester) and offers to help you out... With three days left in the semester, I can still pass Algebra III. Woo.


"Do you not understand?" -Jesus
Re: Random Thoughts #48821 01/23/04 04:24 PM
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Ashley Offline OP

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-I failed algebra with a 69.4%. *deep sigh* But--I'm taking it again this semester, and so far I have the highest grade in the class. A 99%. Easier the second time around. Go figure?

-Michael&#8482; the new boyfriend is wonderific. He has been the only source of relief.

-For normal people, when life hits rock bottom, it can only go up. For me, when life it's rock bottom, it just keeps on digging.

-My parents are talking about "divorce." I can't help but feel partially responsible. I mean, I haven't exactly been a financial relief, or a stress reduction.

-My parents are out of town this weekend. This makes me happy. 1) I don't have to listen to them argue, and 2) Michael&#8482; can stay over really late.

-I witnessed my grandmother die over winter vacation. It was the single most traumatic experience of my life. I wasn't even close to her, and I still have nightmares.

-High school drama is so trivial.

-My name is on the bathroom wall again. There's a shocker. Apparently I'm a big geek. *twirls finger*

-I have two classes in which I do absolutely nothing. That is why I'm enabled to post on the message board.

-My literature teacher is absolutely disgusting. I went in during 4th block (I have an empty class, so I just hang out at school for an hour and 30 doing nothing) to pick up a project I presented that day:

Mr. Teacher: Hey beautiful.
Me: Uh... Hi.
Mr. Teacher: How are you?
Me: I'm wonderful.
Mr. Teacher: Yeah you are.

no

What? I'm glad that my teacher feels comfortable enough to have conversation with me... but him and I are not friends, chums, or anywhere at the level where I would feel comfortable with him telling me I'm beautiful or wonderful. I feel that he crossed the teacher/student line. I'm horrified.

-I got a job. I work at Zaxby's. Woo. I started yesterday.

-Community Service isn't that bad. I met a girl named Jaymi. When she walked into the room, she looked at me and informed me that she likes to start fires--and that's why she has to do CS. Apparently she lit someone's couch on fire.

-I have to go. Math class.

Ta!


"Do you not understand?" -Jesus
Re: Random Thoughts #48822 01/23/04 06:22 PM
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">-For normal people, when life hits rock bottom, it can only go up. For me, when life it's rock bottom, it just keeps on digging.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">:D Trust me...and this is not to try and make it any worse. Is it's still digging you're not at rock bottom yet. But..there is really no need to go there either. That choice is up to you. I know.....a lot to put on a young person but you CAN make a difference!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> -My parents are talking about "divorce." I can't help but feel partially responsible. I mean, I haven't exactly been a financial relief, or a stress reduction.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Rule number one as a child in the midst of those talks.

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! IT IS NOT ANYTHING THAT YOU SAID OR DID! DO NOT EVEN LET THOSE THOUGHTS BE ENTERTAINED IN THAT MIND OF YOURS. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY OF THOSE THOUGHTS OR TALKS!


Who are you? What do you want? Why are you here? Where are you Going?
Re: Random Thoughts #48823 01/23/04 07:58 PM
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Well... Naturally they tell you that when you're in counseling and such--they don't want it to afflict you or make you feel bad or be depressed.

But my actions have caused much grief, and I have single-handedly torn my family apart. I am a financial burden and a physical burden. I cost my family nearly $300 a month for mistakes that I have made. My actions from nearly 3 months ago are still causing fights between my family members. I am a burden. I accepted that in December. It is no secret that I hold the monopoly in stress causing. It is understandable that my family is falling apart. It is understandable that my parents are fighting.

...I understand.

I know them talking about divorce is not entirely related to me... But... I am a factor. This will pass, I think. If they can hold out until June, they'll survive the money issues--and if they can hold out until August--they'll survive the stress.


"Do you not understand?" -Jesus
Re: Random Thoughts #48824 01/23/04 08:18 PM
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Ashley, I don't know you from Eve so I'm sure my understanding of your problems is quite simplistic. However, from what I do know here's what I would do if I was in your shoes.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif"> -My parents are talking about "divorce." I can't help but feel partially responsible. I mean, I haven't exactly been a financial relief, or a stress reduction.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I agree with TH it certainly isn't your fault. However, if you really have an open relationship with your parents maybe you should sit down with them and talk about your concerns in regards to their considering divorce. As far as the finances are concerned... </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I cost my family nearly $300 a month for mistakes that I have made.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Your new job at Zaxby's should go a long way to relieving any financial stress you've caused and if the $300 is truly a result of your actions, you are kind of morally obligated to be the one paying it. Get out your checkbook.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I accepted that in December. It is no secret that I hold the monopoly in stress causing. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Then stop, if you're really that worried that your actions are causing problems, then change, repent or do whatever necessary to rid yourself of that guilt. After all </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">-High school drama is so trivial.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">and in fact most drama is of our own creation and we can put a stop to it. But most of all, have a frank talk with your folks about it. Maybe you're completely wrong. You should still be forking over $300 a month though.


I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other— This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him! -- Joseph Smith History 1:17
Re: Random Thoughts #48825 01/24/04 06:34 AM
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Ashley Offline OP

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Hm. Yes.

When I was first arrested, my parents made me quit my job. That was the first thing to go. I knew I had to pay. They knew I had to pay. But unfortunately they didn't think of the long term effects (such as there not being any job openings anywhere near us, and I don't drive). So. Yes. I don't feel responsible for that. Yet, they try to make me feel responsible.

My actions which cause stress are nothing that can be prevented. They all stem from the one mistake, and usually, they inflict the stress upon themselves. They ask me to do something, I do it, and then they freak out. I'm really confused.

I only want to get out of the house. I want to get out, and stop thinking about it. Pretend like it never happened (perhaps that isn't the best way to deal with it, but it's MY way, and they give me no other options). And that's what I do. The boyfriend comes to get me, and we just "forget." I like that way best. It makes me feel good. I'm trying to work things out. I really am. I do my community service every weekend--but... things are just a mess.

If they get a divorce--it might be better than them fighting all the time. Though... divorce is the last thing I want on my plate.

Everything is hitting me at once. I'm just taking deep breaths and trying to sort it all. It's too much for my brain to process. But I'm working on it. I'm working on it.


"Do you not understand?" -Jesus
Re: Random Thoughts #48826 01/27/04 05:42 AM
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Hey Lil' sis! I just saw a BIG red flag in your post.


You didn't actually say it but it appears that you are/can use your boyfriend as an escape. Please don't. I can seriously change your relationship with him and it can also lead you into poor decisions later. I can't sit over here and tell you exactly what to do or guess what are all the things being said in your home.

I do agree 100% with Joel, talk to your parents, express your concerns (and of course timing is pretty important) get your feelings and fears on the table, one parent at a time.

I think it might be a decent idea to make sure that when your folks tell you to do a thing that you make it clear how they want you to do it and by when. I don't know what the stress is that they have, but a lot of stress can be relieved by clear cut boundries and adult conversation.

Praying for you and they!
God's love to ya kiddo!


"I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made - I'm a disciple of HIS.
www.Real-Men.net
Re: Random Thoughts #48827 01/30/04 03:08 AM
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Firstly, I should state that I think I've already made those "poor decisons."

Secondly, it's hard for me to talk to my parents for the moment. We haven't been on good terms since October--and I usually avoid all conversation. It's sad because my mom and I used to be really good friends. She has very bad anxiety, now, and I'm scared to talk to her about some things because she just gets so worked up and can't/won't have a civilized conversation. My dad is just plain un-understanding and impatient. I really don't have many people to vent or talk to about it... I talk to my two girlfriends, and Michael™ if he's lucky... but mostly I try not to think about it.

I wouldn't quite say that I'm depressed... But I'm not happy by any means. I guess it's putting a toll on me mentally--and I try to block it out before it gets to me physically. I'm worn.

Sleep is the most appealing thing... I don't ALWAYS run off with Michael™. But he spoils me and makes me feel good about myself... so I'm naturally drawn to him. *Shrug* I think I need him right now.


"Do you not understand?" -Jesus
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