Hello God thank you for yesterday it marked a turning point in my life. I'm really glad that you were able to open my eyes and let me see the truth of my wanton ways. Thank You for leading me to this point. I know and have accepted now what I believe You have been trying to show me for several months now. God I really enjoy talking to You like this because I know that You are listening. I know that You have always been there ready and willing to listen but I was too caught up in my selfish desires to turn to the only stability in my life. I guess it was because I was ashamed, I felt that I was not worthy of You, I was a habitually sinner. I knew I was a sinner but yet I let my sinful nature control my better judgement. But God I have always known that You are a forgiving God and so I kept on living on the premise of there's always tomorrow. But I know that tomorrow is not promised...tomorrow is today and I am learning, as I continue to struggle with the daily battles that life throws my way, that I need to live my todays as though there were no tomorrows and strive to abide by Your Word. God I am learning to not let the worldly problems I face each day interfer with my walk with you. God I thank You for my Christian brothers and sisters on here they have truly been a God send to me and have made the transition much easier. God You know it's really awesome to be able to talk to You like this...You know that this is my best medium to say what's in my heart. I don't have the gift of gab (sarcasm, tactlessness..yes) but get me behind a keyboard and I can bore the pants off anybody but I know these random thoughts make perfect sense to You because only You know my inner being. Only You know how deep the wounds have been inflicted and continue to be inflicted and only You know when I have had enough, when my cup overflows. I place my trust, my life, my everything in You because i am only because of YOU. Thank You God for listening to my senseless ramblings...Oh and God thank You for today, that I am alive, healthy and have some semblance of peace of mind...closure...Love Your thirsting for knowledge child...Haze...