sounds like things are improving! glad it only took 3 yrs for him to offer and not 10 like others. youve lasted longer than most marriages today. [;

hey,i will beat the odds. one baby step at a time!

YOU ARE ON RIGHT PATH! [;

On another note, what about being a good supprot system ? I have been my husband's ultimate cheerleader adn believer in him for the past three years. Now he is moving in the direction of starting his own business ftom the, home. I think it will work and I am behind him all the way, but there are tons of risks, and when we have a family, it doubles them. How can you stand tall and behind your man without the questions in your mind showing through ... ? michelle ??? you still there .. ??

imback. its understandable to have normal fears, about enough moola to suppport family during this transition. my new guy runs his own web bisiness, i wonder how stable that really is with competition. as far as starting a family later, am a bit hesitant since im struggling myself hunting work still. if anything happended to him, and such. its human to think about survival and realistic to plan. ill pray for you to adjust and trust God in this.

Angel, I think it's only natural to have concerns and they should show through and be deeply discussed before any final decisions are made. After all, this is a partnership (the marriage) isn't it? Half of everything including debt is yours, right? The history of dot.coms in the past should serve as a marker/warning when they had more backing and still failed. Refresh my memory if you will, doesn't your husband do exactly as he wishes regardless of affect on family? Haven't you always allowed him to? Or is it another member I'm thinking of? But, I guess according to the bible it's your job to let the head make the decisions.

Has he prayed on it and knows it's God's will for him to do this? Have you prayed about it and get the same answer? If both of you have, you know God will bless it and make it good. Gods will always comes to fruition.

well, truthfully, yeah, i have been the one who has let him do pretty much what he has felt was a better move, ad yeah, we've been nomads as a result of it. i dont think he des these things regardless of the family, but more (in his way of thinking) for the family ... more money = better place for the family. and i dont live by the exact word of the bible, again to reitterate, it is what i feel is right for us.
i do think praying on it would be a good idea, together. i will suggest it and make sure it gets done.
as far as dot.com's, you never know. i would like to have him at home more and happier in what he is doing. working for "the man" brings him down.
just keep us in prayer.

I sure miss that. id be afraid to work for myself. isnt there less security, insurance too? Not to bring anyone down, just being realistic. but miracles still happen, even these days. cant rule God out. when in doubt, pray it out?

There is less security but makes up in freedom. Insurance can be an issue. But it's less stressful and demanding to be your own boss.

cool. freedom from being fired a good option too. [; you make a valid point .

My husband has had his own business for years. I love the fact that we can pretty much just up and go. The financial security is somewhat of an issue. At any time, he could loose his business. It's a risk that one takes in being self-employed. The thing that we have done to ensure that no matter what, we will be okay, is living within our means. We live in a modest home in a modest neighborhood, drive modest vehicles. The only real outstanding debts are the real estate properties that he has purchased, but soon they will be profit and not debt. We do not purchase it unless we can pay for it. Even the real estate could be payed off at any given time.

This way if we were to loose his business, we could pay off all debts with savings, and live off of less than $1,000.00 a month. Between the two of us, we could wait tables or work at McDonalds and earn more than that in a month until something better came along. But we own everything that we have.

That's just a few small ways we make it work. That's the best advice that I can give is to live within your means. Credit cards? I use them all the time. But when I use them, I automatically deduct that amount out of my checking account balance as if I had written a check allready, and then when the bill comes due I can pay it off in full every month. No interest and it builds credit.

Anyway, yes...although UKC makes it sound so loathsome and trite, I would say yes. Support his decisions. Make suggestions, but don't nag. Pray about it with him and apart from him. Tell him that no matter what he decides, though, you will stand behind him. Especially since you know that he has the best intentions of the family in his heart and mind. It may seem rocky at first, but you gotta trust that God is gonna supply all your needs and that you don't have to worry about a thing.

You are your husband's biggest fan, and his biggest support system (or should be, at least). He wants to be your providor. Your knight in shining armor. Be sure you let him take that roll, and even when he gets knocked down off that white horse, be sure that he knows that you saw him fight a valliant fight and that he will recover from this lost battle and come back to slay the dragons of life for you...I know that sounds kinda cheesy, but I promise if you really apply it, (though not in the same terms, lol) it will make him feel really loved and supported.

that was great. this is where faith comes in. i say, go4 it. [; working for someone else isnt secure-so what are the real risks? ITS ALL ABOUT MONEY MANAGEMENT regardless of what job youd have. you have a super attitude ! [;

Michelle, let's be very clear. I in no way shape or form find supporting a spouse trite or loathsome and I resent you saying that I do. What I do loathe is the controlling bullying intimidating behavior I'm being asked to support. I didn't realize those behaviors are Christian values. I also loathe a person being afraid to say or do anything perhaps contrary to that spouses bhavior for fear of the price to be paid. I also loathe a marriage where one is urged to choose their fights/battles. I especially loathe that accepting/allowing all of this comes from a book that is supposed to be THE WORD. But I will continue to pray for all marriages and spouses that are like that.

Hey. I wasn't personally attacking you, and if that small statement caused such resentment and anger, I apologize. I didn't mean to cause you hurt. It sounded in your above post as if you didn't think that unconditional support was a good thing. If I was wrong, I apologize. My marraige does not have the qualities that you describe. From what I've read of jen's, neither does hers...and yet you somehow have this idea that they do...so whatever. If it makes you feel better to feel sorry for me or loathe my marraige or feel like a better person than my husband, more power to you. I hope that you won't hold any animosity towards me. It's not my objective to tick anyone off...just stating my opinion which was formed from my interpretation of the Bible. You're entitled to your opinion as well. I'm intitled to disagree. Agree to disagree or hold it against me...your call.

I think 'loathe' is a pretty strong word for the actual feelings expressed and probably felt, am I right?

It's good to support your spouse in what they need to do, tho I think it goes both ways. If I think I need to move to Dallas to better support my family, then I do owe my spouse a lot of explaining since I am totally affecting her life too. Our corporate headquarters are in Dallas, so it's definitely a possiblity should I br selected to move up the ladder. That said, some of our real goals are to live within our means, like Michelle and Billy so we don't pile up a lot of bills we get buried under. We don't make a lot of money, but we both have decent jobs and choose to spend it wisely when possible. We love to travel and that's probably the only extravagance we do maybe more than we should.

Anyways, I believe communication needs to ramp way up when something one does affects the life of both so totally as a move would. Support always, after a good amount of prayer. This choice may be coming quite soon for us - Melanie is finishing her doctorate in psychology, this includes a year of internship and there's a good chance we may need to move to be where she gets one - they aren't easy to come by. It's only for a year, but it will put my career on hold for that time (I'll probably work temp agency) - I feel it's necessary tho, I knew this was coming before I proposed and it's something I know we need to do to get past this milestone. So, pray for us that the right decision is made, we'll be making it Monday and/or Tuesday.

It goes both ways...

Michelle, As Allen pointed out I to beleive loathe is over the top but used it to accomodate you. I do not loathe your marriage. Except that you've made it and the way it is public domain it's really nobody's business but yours. Be it me or the man in the moon I do feel that people/men who don't behave as you not I have described your husband are better people. I simply used different words for your description of your marriage/husband. I guess I'll never be able to understand respecting disrespect.


Allen, good luck to you and Melanie in the changes you may have to make. Your marriage and communication is the exact kind I see as being not just Christian but healthy, loving and caring.

when we air our griefs here, or just asking for prayer, can expect some differences of opinion. gotta take the good with the bad , espec in this life. my policy is ''agree to disagree'' and thats ok. we all share different perspectives here, and why we share our human side , to relate, fellowship-and hear each other out. we dont always expect an answer, just to be heard. God answers in His time , not ours. were a big family here, its ok to disagree and still care. [; God bless all of you here!

Hello brothers and sisters. My story doesn't match this topic but I want to share it with you...Today is a good day for me and I want to tell you my story. I am 22 years old ordinary guy from Russia(sorry for my English), but with not very ordinary life story. It sounds terrible but today I should have been dead as I have been said two years before in hospital. 4 years ago I fell ill of a difficult illness concerned with metabolism processes. Then in a few months I felt myself very bad and looked like leprous, because this illness influenced my skin. Mostly people around me except my parents were afraid of me and didn’t even talk to me. So me a guy of 19 didn’t have friends and no any contacts with my age guys. I suffered of this much and soon found acquaintances drug addicts. Then I became drug addict too. After this I became a thief and sold many things from my home to earn money for drugs. My parents suffered much. My illness became more difficult and once I was taken to hospital, because I lost consciousness. Doctors said me that my condition is very bad and that my illness is on a hardest stage, so I should live maximum two years. Then my family’s incomings fell down, and I had to find work to earn money for living. But it was too difficult for me because I was drug addict and very ill. Nobody should trust in me.
But one day I met my teacher from school that I graduated from. He left school and created his web-design studio. He understood that I was drug addict but he trusted me and proposed me a work concerned with finding information for Christian online center www.jesus-flower.com and his help as a friend. He showed me a new way of believing in God. After this I began to work almost all day long every day and to go in church. I stopped taking drugs. Soon I became fast recovering. After a year my illness almost disappeared. Doctors in hospital said that I was one from almost million that stood such a horrible illness.
Today I go on writing articles for www.jesus-flower.com and finding interesting information. I am happy and thankful to God for my second chance and for being the happiest man in the whole world. God blesses you all my dear brothers and sisters.

hi, glad you are here. its cool. your new, youll learn forum . took me awhile too. nice to see new people here. new material.

Welcome Romano, glad you are here

Here's some teaching on marriage from the great American philosopher Red Skelton:

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Red Skelton shared his humor with us for decades. He did so without four-letter words and raunchy antics. Below are his tips for a happy marriage.

Two times a week, we go to nice restaurant, have a little beverage, then comes good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and an electric breadmaker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for th e garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in."

Remember, marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

I married Miss Right, I just didn't know her first name was "Always".

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?......." I said, "Dust."
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No bad for comments 40 years old