What Drives Your Life?

Continuing our study of Rick Warren's 'The Purpose-Driven Life', this chapter is the longest one so far, and probably the most important it has definitely affected me and my life

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">
The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - a waif, a nothing, a no man.
- Thomas Carlyle
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Everyone's life is driven by something. There are hundreds of circumstances, values, and emotions that can drive your life. Here are the 5 most common:

Many people are driven by guilt. They spend their entire lives running from regrets and hiding their shame. Guilt-driven people are manipulated by memories - they allow their past to control their future, often punishing themselves by sabotaging their own success.
We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it. God's purpose is not limited by your past. He turned a murderer named Moses into a leader and a coward named Gideon into a courageous hero, and He can do amazing things with the rest of your life, too.

Many people are driven by resentment and anger. They hold on to hurts and never get over them. Instead of releasing their pain through forgiveness, they rehearse it over and over in their minds. Some internalize and 'clam-up' and others externalize and 'blow-up'.
Resentment always hurts you more than it does the person you resent. While your offender has probably forgotten the offense and gone on with life, you continue to stew in your pain, perpetuating the past.
Listen: Those who have hurt you in the past cannot continue to hurt you now unless you hold onto the pain through resentment. Your past is your past! Nothing will change it. You are only hurting yourself with your bitterness - for your own sake, learn from it, and let it go.

Many people are driven by fear. Their fears may be the result of a traumatic experience, unrealistic expectations, growing up in a high-control home, or even genetic predisposition. Regardless of the cause, fear-driven people often miss great opportunities because they're afraid to step out. Instead they play it safe, avoiding risks.
Fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what God intends for you to be. You must move against it with the weapons of faith and love.

Many people are driven by materialism. Their desire to acquire becomes the whole goal of their lives. This drive to always want more is based on the misconception that having more will make me more happy, more important, and more secure, but all 3 ideas are untrue. Posessions only provide temporary happiness, we eventually become bored and want newer, bigger, and better versions.
Having more doesn't make us more important or more secure. Your value is not determined by your valuables, God says the most valuable things in life are not things! Wealth can be lost instantly through a variety of uncontrollable factors.

Many people are driven by the need for approval. They allow the expectations of parents or spouses or children or teachers or friends to control their lives, for some, well into their adulthood. Others are driven by peer pressure, always worried about what others might think - those who follow the crowd usually get lost in it.
I don't know all the keys to success, but one key to failure is to try to please everyone. Being controlled by the opinions of others is a guaranteed way to miss God's purposes for your life.
There are other forces that can drive your life but all lead to the same dead end: unused potential, unnecessary stress, and an unfulfilled life.

I'll stop here for now, the best part is yet to come... but ponder for a moment:

What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?

OMG! Except for the drive for materialism, I think this author is describing MY life.

Sadly, I find a bit of each one of the other four has manifested itself at one time or another. Old habits are hard to break. I guess it doesn't speak too well of where I am in my walk with Christ.

I know that I am too weak to change my life's drivers on my own, but I also know that I have the tools I need in Jesus.

There was an awesome message on faith at church yesterday. The Pastor asked what we would define Faith as. There were many typical responses, but the best one for me was having trust and confidence in the power and authority of the Lord. And that trust and confidence can only be developed by having a relationship with Him. If you met someone for the first time on the street and they promised you something, how confident would you be that they would see their promise through? Not very because you don't know that person. There is no track record. There's nothing you can base your trust on. There is no relationship.

I have to live my life with getting to know Christ better as my driver. A deeper relationship with the Lord leads to a better understanding of our purpose, and the calling on our lives. The Holy Spirit spoke to me yesterday and the words cut deep. I know what's necessary. I need to be obedient...

Wow...these really get to the core of our beings doesn't it? I can personally relate to the first three as being driving forces in my life at one time or another and they continue to reap havoc in my daily life but I know that is because I let them control my emotions, thoughts etc...and I also know that there is only one way to relinquish these controllers but yet I keep banging my head against that brick wall...As a result of these I have gotten a very tainted view of people and their motives. I know that is not fair or right but it's my self-protective measure. I believe my family and friends would agree with these as being driving forces in my life..I would like the driving force in my life to be one where I relinquish all control to God...I want to lay down my pride, my stubborness, my hard-heartedness, my anger, resentment, fears all the things that prevent me from going to Him on bended knees and humbling myself before Him and letting His will be done in my life...I need to let go and let God..but I'm not exactly sure how to do that

Ladies,

With the most sincere encouragement I can muster up I think you've kind of missed the point.

I'm sure most if not all of us can relate to this post. Some have progressed further than others being the only dfference between any of us.

Having faith and trust in God and loving our Lord Jesus Christ is a wonderful thing. Relinquishing control to him and expecting the changes that are necessary to improve oursleves is NOT the answer though.

This is all about the free will he has given us. It's about his abundant love for us. It's about the good life he wants and intended for each of us. It's about the way we choose to live. The major word of importance here is CHOICE.

There is NOTHING UNGODLY OR NONCHRISTIAN about taking control and responsibility for our own lives. If we don't use the freewill he has given us to make good choices and decisions about our lives nothing will change. The good news is, our love of Him and His love of us remains. The bad news is, God helps those who help themselves and to not do that keeps us down and undriven. What needs to happen is, to help ourselves so that we attain the level of life God wants for us. He wants us to use our intelligence and all the other wondrous gifts he's given us to become the people he wants us to be. He wants us to be responsible for ourselves and the quality nof life we live.

Being God he knows we will need help in doing so. It is why he has given different tools to different people. He would like for us to rely on each other to some degree as well as believing and trusting in him.

This is what scares me for so many Christians. There is no betrayal of God turning elsewhere for help. In all actuality we do the changing ourselves but may need an impartial third party to help us do that. There is nothing in the original post I haven't said here in the past. I did leave out the NOT OF GOD parts. I shared much of myself with the membership here. Probably much more than you wanted from me and certainly more than I wanted to share but hoped it may help someone.

The point is, with the posts you've just done you seem to have a handle on what is holding you back and keeping down/undriven or driven in the wrong direction, whichever works for you and is least offensive. Many of us can say what the problem/s we have is/are but we don't quite know what to do to change. I really wish that praying and trusting and believing were enough to do it. If so I'd have made changes decades ago. It requires action and work on our part. In my case, it took relaizing that I felt that death was preferable to the life I lived. Trust me when I say I had prayed over it and trusted that God would help me for years. I think mostly because of having been a psych major in college did I finally get it. Knowledge is what gives the power to chnage things.

Although I hadn't correographed a quick exit, just the realization that death was a possible answer made me know there was something awfully wrong with me. That was the first step in God helping me. The next was finding someone who could help me use the tools of God to create a better life. Knowing what's wron is only a first step doing something about it is the only thing that will make a difference. Unfortuantely, family influences, societal influences, even religious influences can get in the way of or even cuse us to be undriven or driven by the wrong things. With all of the best intentions in the world these outside influences help make us who we are. Unfortuantely since these influences come from other human beings they aren without flaws.

I know I'm rambling again but sitting back and waiting for God to make the changes for us isn't going to happen. Even twelve step programs if a person can't won't trust a trained psychotherapist can teach or begin to show how to let go and let God. Spirituality plays a big part in the changes that can happen. Some groups to be politically correct and NOT put people off may even use the term HIGHER POWER. It's NOT at bad thing. It just leaves that open to different interpretations. A jew couldn't be expected to accept Christ as their higher power but we can. So forget the Higher Power thing and just think Christ. He knows where you are coming from.

I've probably said too much again or maybe not enough if I haven't used the correct examples here, but I do know that it takes action for change to happen. God Bless you all.

Thom, Hey fella!! I think you hit the nail on the head about not sitting still and waiting for change. I am not sure if I read that as what the ladies were doing, but you were correct nonetheless in concept! God will occasionally help a do-nothing person (ie man at the pool in bethesda) but only if it is an object lesson for mankind or will win more souls.

(using that list) ...About me, if you asked both of my friends I think that they would key on a little materialistic and a little fear (of becoming who I was in the past) and a touch of approval (that whole center-of-attention-class-clown thing )

What I want to be my biggest motivating factor is the effort of the Gospel. While I spend my time online relatively in that pursuit I fall much shorter in the physical world. Not that I am living in despotism, just that it is not the filter through which more of my decisions are made, if you get my drift.

Steve, I'll try to do this in a shorter form than before. Example, for Allen the book and these words were God's first step in making change. It's the same for all of us. These words made us notice so to speak. It's a tool he's given us. Now, we can either do something and know change for the better or do nothing and wonder why God hasn't answered our prayers.

Baby steps. We didn't get to where we are over night and we, even with a classic converstion experience become changed over night either.

At this moment fear leaves me stuck in the past. I'm tired of that, and its time for a change. My fears of not having someone to share my life with, and wanting a child are hitting me hard lately. Also family has a great deal with me not being able to do my own thing. See I talk care of my grandmother and she needs me, I just wish the rest of them helped me with her. I feel the need to get out on my on; but I feel trapped and don't know what to do.

My biggest driver is resentment and anger, an "I'll show you!" attitude. It stems from an incident almost 10 years ago, most everyone involved doesn't even work there anymore, but it still eats at me.

I want my biggest driver to be the pure desire to do a good job, but I'm not there yet...

I love the discussion... it's difficult for me to not post a 'quick fix' for the others in this thread (it's easier for me to fix the others than myself ), I gotta remember that this discussion is a process tho... there's much much more to come - the second half of this particular discussion I'll be posting this weekend, I promise it's a good one

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">it's easier for me to fix the others </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Boy, truer words were never spoken!! For me it is always so much easier to even LOOK at others struggles than my own. I think looking inward takes some "self-honesty" in order to confront what we find and that is ALWAYS uncomfortable!

hehe, for me it is at least

That speck in your eye is easier for me to pluck than the plank in mine

and AMEN!!!

for me, i have had lots of time to think inwardly. at first when i saw the list,i saw drive to get approval, then i reread it and saw all of them. i see different drives at different stages in my life. as i said, being alone all day with a baby has given me ample time to look. know what, i dont like too much what i saw. for so long i saw myself as "being done to" ... relationships, jobs, etc etc ... and now i feel like i am the maker of my next day. i stay hooked up here on this site and with christian reading becuase,frankly we arent regular church goers. if i didnt anchor myself, i might drift. i rely on the Lord for the strength to get out of bed each day, and at the end of the day, i owe Him all the thanks, but what happens at the time "now" is ultimately in my hands. i think if i had a printed list of those drives all over the house and i could see them regularly, it might help me when i make a choice ... why did i do it this way ??? etc etc ... anyway, back to my point. introspect is subjective as well. man, one week i see myself as a warrior of Christ, the next, i call myself out on having different motives. Tough call, but i think you are all right, we all need to turn to Christ for example of how he would do whatever, but ultimately know we are the "doers" ..... am i backtracking ? i swear this made sense 10 minutes ago

Yes, it makes sense Thank you for putting your thoughts out there, this will make more sense as we go along