Yes, it sounds like you are starting 2004 out right.

Indeed! I think the reason that a lot of women might have trouble with this area (sticking up for themselves) is because of all the flack they get for being too assertive. We are told to be obedient, demure, submissive, and loving - but we are also told not to take anything from anybody because we deserve better. However, when we have a problem with others' actions we are accused of PMS or being a chronic b*tch. Where does the happy medium lie? For that matter - everyone has issues, which ones are worth working on and which are not? How can you tell one person they are more worth your time than another in a religion that says everyone is created equally nasty and everyone is made equally righteous through the blood of Christ?
Moreover - does one drop their girl/boy friend after the first, or the second, etc. offense? Or is it 77 times 7? It seems thoroughly undefined what actions one should take with in the bounds of relationship. Which is applicable for today. But, I suppose, what it really comes down to is the book of Titus. One should look for the same good and Godly qualities in a significant other as the church looks for in its leadership.

I saw my ex out last night. I went to karaoke at a local sports bar, and there he was with 3 of my guy friends from church. He was drinking. This guy is a recovering alcoholic. I couldn't believe it - I felt really sick. I wish I had more faith in the power of prayer - because he seems to be heading straight for an opressive black pit.

and another thing... Why am I designated a Pharisee? (The truth hurts, and I don't know if I like my bad-nasties being pointed out everytime I post a message!)

Pharisee is just a handle given to all when they reach a certain number of posts. I't not personal. A lady in my exercise class commented about the male female inequality thing I think in the best way I've ever heard. It went something like, I honor my husband and other men, I only worship God. Thought that was cool. Hey guys have a good thing going and especially using the bible won't let go of it easily. Another way I heard it I also liked a lot, it was something like The man may be the head but the woman is the neck and can turn the head in any direction. Pretty sure it was from My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

About forgiveness. I suppose it's open to interpretation but since God wants good things for us, I don't think 77 times 7 applies to detrimental relationships. Just MHO. As for the ex. Keep praying for him. Addicts often have slips and prayer and not enabling them is all we can do.

fabulous advice

Hey Lorianna

It only depends on the persons repentance. You always forgive, but if they do not repent, they gotta go! If you get to the root of the word repent in the old greek and hebrew it comes from a word that means "to change." Part of all repentence is changing. Remember Jesus said to the adultress, "go and sin no more."

Cyclical sin doesn't need to be accepted. Sure we all blow it but doing the same thing over and over again, say like coming home late and drunk from work, doesn't have to be tolerated. Forgiven yes, but acceptable, nope!

God bless ya!

Wow, another touchy subject, Christians and Sex. My belief is Not too have any sex at all until Marriage. So, I consider myself to be Asexual until marriage, I found this web site for more about this ~> http://www.asexualpals.com/

Disclaimer: I don't believe in all the web page beliefs above!

I believe we all have God in our Lives, which is so wonderful News! "Wait upon God for His Will to be done" Sort of like Footprints in the Sand, eh.

Hey Kristi, Happy New Year good to see you back!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hey Kristi, Happy New Year good to see you back!</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Awww, thanks so much Kris! Happy New Year to you as well. Thanks for the warm Welcome back Kris!! Talk to ya soon..

Mom and I got our wish on Christmas day. I didn't really wish snow, but it snowed anyway on Christmas day where my mother lives, woo hoo, brrrr.

lorianna--
Absoutely nothing wrong with you being assertive or submissive. But in my opinion the submissive applies when your mate, spouse, or potential mate has proven to you that he is worthy of that.

If this person loves you just as Christ loves the church he WILL NOT be asking you to go to bed with him. He WILL NOT be asking you to do thing that go against your religious belief's.

If he is loving you as Christ loved the Church, ie. willing to die for you then I would assume that you would have no problem submitting to him becuase he is leading you down a road where he has proven that you can trust his abilities and his decisions.

Much like Steve mentioned, if there is repentance in this person, contriteness and remorsefulness for their wrong doings...I would say that you keep them or at least keep working with them. Without that...well the Holy Spirit has not yet covicted them of thier faults and without the Holy Spirits help we are doomed to failure on trying to do anything in or with our own power and abilities.

*chuckles* This coming from a person who was and is staying broken so that He can work in me.

God Bless Ya and praying for the right decision.

Yep...we all have the power to choose. Choose to be obedient or choose to be disobedient. That is to follow Christ or to follow satan.

Pretty simple choice it seems but I sure seem to make the wrong ones at times.

Hi everyone... I just want to share with somebody that i'm in a very bad position. My boyfriend and i had sex together, and really regret it. I want to stop it and return to God, but don't know how to. This is so terrible, i know i was not suppose to do it, but i did and i take responsibility for it. How do i break this relationship and turn back... Please help me...
I ask God for forgiveness, but i don't know if He will... And on the other hand i don't want to hurt his feelings...

If anyone ever thinks about doing it ... DONT!! You will regret it and it WILL ruin your relationship with GOd. Stay close to Him. I wansn't in a good relationship with God when i have done it and Satan won... i let him win. It wouldn't happend if i was with God. I know He was with me because everything around me said NO. Church messeges, friends, movies....

I know i don't deserve it, but could you please pray for me...

Thank you...

Hi Olga, welcome!


Thanks for being so open and honest. First the blunt, short answer: If you want to stop, then stop... I know that sounds calloused and cruel but I truly do not mean it that way. You and your boyfriend now need to revisit the parameters of your relationship and since sex is on your NO list then he needs to come to understand that now it is on his also.

Shoot, we all make mistakes and fall short. I mean if sin was not tempting, no one would do it and we would not need forgiveness because we wouldn't blow it. Alas it is not that way and our fleshly desires pull us in all sorts of directions all the time. Sometimes we are strong enough with God's help and sometimes we sneak away and sin anyway.

You mentioned that sin (sex in this case) ruins our relationship with God. Sister that is just not so! God is very clear that if we change our ways and repent He doesn't let our mistakes come between us. It is the enemy, that ol' punk devil that is whispering all that guilt into your heart and ears, ignore that fool, he has not authority! God saw you slip and is still reaching out to help ease your fall just reach up and catch His hands. Do not be afraid to face Him again, He is not ashamed of you sister!

How do you break a relationship? Do you NEED to break the relationship or can the two of you continue on in a Godly manner, contrite and repentant? If you don't feel that you can be strong and have a relationship with this boy/man than tell him the truth. Say that you are very upset and that you violated your Christian principles when the two of you had intercourse and that you ask for his forgiveness for your part in it and fogive him of his part also. Then (if you feel that the relationship cannot/should not continue) say that it is in the both of your's Christian best interest to not be together because of the temptation. (Just a note. God can and will heal that temptation if the both of you ask Him to help!)

Remember God is not in the separation business He is in the RESTORATION business!

I can't say it any better, thanks Steve

Welcome Olga, I'll pray for you

Olga you absolutely deserve prayer and forgiveness....God has already forgiven you Olga...as a matter of fact...he doesnt know why your crying...in his eyes you have no marks on your slate...the hardest thing about asking forgiveness is ...forgiving yourself...Olga you seemed to know quite abit about a relationship with God...well then you should know that you are forgiven...You are in my prayers and God listens....so just remember...that God has forgiven you...now you just need to forgive yourself... God bless and i hope you stick around and bless us here...

Just remember that forgiveness is not the same as permission and follow the advice Steve gave.

Welcome Olga. The others have given great advice so I'll just pray.

yes that true...what Joel said...forgiveness is not permission but it is a fresh start so...take your new begginning and run with it...do things for God and let him use you...

I have a friend who is "holier than thou" and i can't stand it! she has the nerve to repremand me for making a sexual joke or something but then like 5 hours later she is off doing it! she thinks that if she does anything but intercourse it is okay... but oral sex is sodomy and called oral SEX for a reason!

So where is the line in this to you? what things do you think are okay wiht God and what isn't? And the bible says that even to think about it is as bad as doing it in God's eyes (which i always thought was messed up because it is God who makes you not do it but that is beside the point)so this would extend to all those who watch porn, all those who lust after a certain woman, it goes far beyond the actual physical action of having sex.

Outside of the marriage covenant I draw the line at kissing. Anything beyond that I would deem to be out of line with what the Savior said in the Sermon on the Mount.

As far as things like pornography - I would consider viewing a sin, based again on the Savior's teachings and the fact that it's addictive and thereby restricts our free-will. As I've said elsewhere, I even view masturbation to be inappropriate.

Once a person is married, I believe that the Lord isn't so nosy to interfere in their sexual relations. However, I would suggest that any sexual act that evokes domination or submissiveness or is uncomfortable for either partner would be wholly inappropriate.

I agree mostly with Joel, tho even a kiss (if done right ) , easily crosses the line too