Stubborness

Probably my worst character trait... I think a lot of us would recognize it in ourselves. We want it our way and we want it now Maturing as Christians, we will still fail to recognize that we aren't god, we can't "fix" ourselves without His help.

Romans 7:18
I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.

Before we can take the first step in maturing as Christians, we must first face and admit our denial that we have problems, harmful habits, hangups, an fears. God tells us, "You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there!" (Jeremiah 6:14). The acrostic for DENIAL spells out what can happen if we do not face our denial.

Disables our feelings
- by repressing our feelings we freeze our emotions. Understanding and feeling our feelings is freedom.

2 Peter 2:19 They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity--for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him.

Energy lost
- A side effect of our denial is anxiety. Anxiety causes us to waste precious energy running from our past and worrying about and dreading the future. It is only in the present, today, where positive change can occur.

Psalm 146:7-8 ...The Lord sets prisoners free,
... the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down,

Negates growth
- We are "as sick as our secrets." We cannot grow in maturity as Christians until we can step out of our denial of our problems and into the truth.

Isolates us from God.
- God's light shines on the truth. Our denial keeps us in the dark.

1 John 1:5-7 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Alienates us from our relationships
- Denial tells us we are getting away with it. We think no one knows - but they do. What is the answer?

Stop lying to each other; tell the truth, for we are parts of each other and when we lie to each other we are hurting ourselves". Ephesians 4:25

Lengthens the pain
- We have the false belief that denial protects us from our pain. in reality, denial allows our pain to fester and grow and turn into shame and guilt.

God's promise: "I will give you back your health again and heal your wounds" Jeremiah 30:17

Our first principle for maturing as Christians: Step out of our stubborness and denial and step into Jesus' unconditional love and grace

What areas of your life are unmanageable and out-of-control?

How do you think allowing God control in those areas will help?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">we must first face and admit our denial that we have problems</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Face AND admit?????

What are you trying to do to me Allen??

Oh dang....... I am just gonna give up now!

roflolol

That is SO true too. Good stuff!

Didja hear that?

It was the sound of a grown woman running away...

Only to catch some tho...

This is something that I really need to address in my life. I will be back tomorrow when I can actually think clearly and post some thoughts...

Night all

Sometimes being that way is sometimes a good thing, but when you go to extremes and hurt other people that is not a good thing. I can be that way about somethings, but the older I get I'll meet you in the middle. Sure we want things to go our way, but the good Lord has his own plans, so maybe the things that are happening are for a reason, maybe to slow down. Are things that come to us easy really worth it? Somethings are ment to take there time and savor the moment.

I don't know if I am very stubborn or not. I guess by definition I must be: (unreasonably unyielding) but when I think about being unyielding, it only pertains to my own "baggage". With others, I go out of my way to be patient and accomodating, but I hardly ever cut myself any slack. I am definitely the "DE" of denial.

Disables our feelings- by repressing our feelings we freeze our emotions.

We touched a little on this in the forum about being a single Christian. The experiences of our lives are what mold us into who and what we are. Some of it is lovely and some of it is painful. Old wounds and battle scars run deep. For me, the very thing that I desire most in my life (second only to serving God) is the thing that terrifies me the most. I have built such high walls so that I can protect myself from ever getting hurt again. I guess I believe that if I don't expose my heart to someone, then I won't ever have to worry about it being stepped on. The avatar that I chose isn't who I wanna be, but right now it's who I am. I won't/can't let anyone near enough to allow myself to "feel" something for them. On the outside I appear strong and confident, and in most other aspects of my life, I am. But when it comes to an intimate relationship, I high tail it. (Maybe that's why I'm training for a marathon..so no one will ever catch me... )

Energy lost- A side effect of our denial is anxiety. Anxiety causes us to waste precious energy running from our past and worrying about and dreading the future.

There are some things that have happened in my life that I have not shared with anyone. There are other things that I have shared with very few. I keep them tucked away cos I worry more about what people will think of me rather than allowing someone to actually get close enough to help.

Many years ago, I suffered from panic/anxiety attacks, all resulting from the break up of my marriage. The Lord kept His promise and walked me through those storms. He is so Faithful.

Not too long ago, I experienced the same thing. I'm not sure if this was God's way of getting my attention or not. Of letting me know that there is too much of "me" in my decision making and not enough Him. Sometimes He just has to tap me on the shoulder. Other times He has to use a 2 x 4. But always it results in a truly intimate experience with my Risen Savior. He once again delivered me from my struggles.

Thank you Allen for beginning this forum. There is so much to this thread, and so much that I need to examine in my life. I'm thanking God for putting Stand in my path.

Freedom is only one submission away...

I am more of an NIAL-type guy, with a little of the D in there. The resentments of the last 10 years or so have been a big part of who I am internally.. they control a lot of what I do, who I am around, what my goals are, etc... they have really inhibited my growth as far as maturity goes

Allowing someone else to handle the crap I keep hidden sure would be a relief.

I have alot of the "L" also...

...and wrapped up in a neat little package with all of it's own issues is Trust.

It is sooo hard to cross that barrier. Steve is a pastor and we had been friends for nearly two years before I was able to confide some things in him. It has nothing to do with the respect we have for one another. It's our own inhibitions.

Like Allen, I would love to hand all the crap over to someone to take care of for me...but for me to do that, I actually have to open my hand and let go of it. That is my problem...letting go.

The only thing that allows me that hope is remembering that Jesus had to open His hands to allow himself to be nailed to the cross. No one took his life from Him. He freely gave it.

Just plain "D"

Disables our feelings
- by repressing our feelings we freeze our emotions. Understanding and feeling our feelings is freedom.

Most of the time I am alright I am not some unfeeling lump (shut-up embie) but I sure get jaded from time to time. I think it has more to do with my old "sin-life" than recent events. I was a cold calloused user, in the relationship arena before I came back to the Lord. For me letting go isn't as much of a problem as admitting I have something to let go of (classic type "A" personality)

Yes! That is key... we have to first realize we have something to let go of... I am the world's worst at holding it tightly, sneering at those who wear their feelings a little further out on their sleeve, all the while peering around the plank in mmy own eye