On dating...........(excerpt from my Dating and Foreign Policy paper)

Peace is hard to attain in the field of foreign policy. Many political scientists would even say that it is literally impossible. In a way it is, because people everywhere will always have some kind of problem. In a dating relationship, it goes the same way. The two people will always have some sort of problem over something. Whether it is big or small it will be there. The classic example for this is that sometime a significant other can be a pain...come on it's going to happen. Western nuclear war policy can highly relate to this because dating or married to someone can be a pain at times. In a relationship with a dating partner or a spouse in a marriage, the nicer you are to that person or the more intimacy you give that person, then the more bigger of a “knife” you give them to stab you with. For example, if the United Kingdom suddenly declared war on the United States they would have the same amount technology that we have because we have given them large amounts of military technology. It is possible that maybe neither side would win because it would be like fighting their own country (or much like playing yourself in a game of chess.) The more military technology that a nation gives to another nation, then the bigger threat they become to each other. Divorces go very much the same way. The more a husband gives to his wife, the more power he gives her to hurt him with. The same applies for a boyfriend/girlfriend. Unfortunately, many cases, such as these, end up where the two people hate each other such as the Soviet Union and the United States during the Cold War they were allies in World War II, but after that they disagreed on Western Europe so they developed a poor relationship.)
One may ask, “Can foreign policy only relate to dating and marriage?” The answer to that would be no, because friendships can have their place in the comparisons. A friendship works the same way but, in many cases, it is not as fragile. Now some friendships are close and can be as fragile; it can even require much work. Take two best friends for instance. One of them starts going through bad times because he broke up with his girlfriend. Going through that time is very difficult for someone, and as mentioned before, causes depression among many people. The other friend may offer his help by praying for him or talking with him about it. This greatly represents foreign aide in the political realm. Giving foreign aide can not only help a country with its problem, but it can also help the people's morale of that country shoot up. When the United States, United Kingdom, Italy, Germany, and France divided the war stricken province of Kosovo in June of 1999, they brought with them foreign aide to help that small area of the world repair its scars left behind by the Serbian forces that invaded it earlier that year. Today, that foreign aide has done its job by putting the small province back on its feet. Afghanistan is also the same story. Doing that to a friend, in this case, by offering assistance is the same way: they are not only helping him get through his situation, they are also helping his morale go up. It will also bring the two of them together closer and allow them to realize what a true friendship is. Other situations may apply as well. Say, for instance, that two friends have an argument over a girl and a third person who is friends with both of them want to stop the fight. That person would be much like a neutral nation jumping in on another fight or conflict between two other countries in the world. The country would send out an envoy to help negotiate between the two nations to help resolve the conflict between them. In 1982 when Argentina invaded the Falkland Islands, a British Commonwealth, the United States wished to remain neutral but they did send an envoy, by the name of Alexander Haig, to conduct shuttle talks. A shuttle talk is when an envoy travels between the two conflicting nations to try make peace and prevent war. During the Falkland conflict between the United Kingdom and Argentina, however, Mr. Haig failed all negotiations and returned to Washington after several trips to both nations. Shortly after, the United Kingdom took back the islands and has just recently started improving relations with Argentina. Also, Somalia is a terrific example- in 1992 the US sent in the Marines and later the Army to stop a civil war that was going on. The case of the two friends fighting can greatly compare, once again, because if they do come to terms with each other on an agreement, they may not talk to each other normally for a few hours or maybe even a few days.

And then I wonder why I keep staying single

-Brian

Pretty good Brian... but all's fair in love an war



was just kiddin



ummm... you aren't referring to the contemporary usage of this phrase, eh?



I tend to be a bit more fatalistic here.. if I meet the right one while I am out with the wrong one, she'll see I am with someone even if they are the wrong one and they'll be long gone.

Say that 3 times fast...

Yikes Brian, you are more cynical than I am



Agree!! So no dates with any wrong ones here LOL
But why is it sooo difficult for a guy to get it into his dumb head that someone is interested in him??? Many guys are so clueless!! Frankly, it's no fun hitting on that type of guy - it wouldn't matter if you told him straight out that you liked him, he still wouldn't get it


Sigh... yes and it's pretty bad too. The pressure from media, friends, the person you date etc can be pretty hard to deal with. Many teens do it only because they think they have to... Go on dates and be worried about the possibility that you will end up in a situation you can't handle... or end up doing something you think everyone else have already done and you think they expect you to do it too...

Girl magazines have interviews with (famous) people saying "Oh I waited a long time, I was 17 when I finally did it" It's like morality isn't worth anything anymore What's up with that????

Better to date someone who has the same values as yourself - no sex - so none of you have to deal with that pressure Naive, maybe, but I would prefer that type of date any day

aleina

bahhh... it's usually a little late when you really find out what their values are.... the most sexually aggressive females I know are preachers' kids , so saying "date only Christians" is only a small part of the equation.

You need a sign that says "Will date for no sex"

That should have them rollin in...

bahhh... I didn't say "date only Christians"

But, if you are Christian, and live by "no sex before marriage", then you "will date for no sex" AND it's not fair trying to tempt someone to sin Assuming there are men who shares those values - they do exist you know! LOL

aleina

OK...so let's talk about dating non-Christians...

What do you think about that? When I was married it was extremely difficult when it came to faith. We were both Catholic at the time, but he was only Catholic cos that's what his parents were. He didn't follow any organized religion nor does he believe in Heaven. He's not convinced who Jesus is. He would never attend any church services short of weddings and funerals, and he left me with the choice on how to raise our children. I felt that a marriage without God had no hope. It was always an issue but I found myself not attending because of him. It is so much easier to pull someone into sin than it is to bring them out of it. I have since come to Christ, but he still remains unsaved.

So I guess my question is...do you go into a relationship with a non-believer hoping that one day they will become saved?

Being unevenly yoked was very painful to me.

What I mean Embie, is that there are people who are not Christians but still share those same values.


Yes I might date someone who is not a Christian, but I wouldn't be so sure that it would last very long......

aleina

Yeah, those lasting any length of time are in the minority, and that usually only happens when you compromise your beliefs in order to "make it work". Which seems to be a clear signal to them to tromp on most any ideals you have, and only builds resentment in you. Equally yoked does have it's appeal...

Embie didn't answer the question I had earlier

And to add to the confusion; there are Christians who don't share the same values... Just because you both believe in God doesn't necessarily mean you have the same view of Christianity.

Add that to the list... not only find a Christian, but someone who believes in a similar way that I do. Can I say

aleina

yeth

Exactly... being a Christian is a start, that's one reason why people shouldn't jump at/into a relationship just because the other person says they are Christian. There's lots more going on there...

Are they the "I don't dance, watch TV, drink, smoke, or go to movies, but I will jump your bones the first chance I get" kinda Christian, or are they a little more...

gotta admit, the first kind will surprise you

ROTFLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

...GuessI don't fit the mold!

"but I will jump your bones the first chance I get"

is it wrong to say yes please here



and to answer your previous question Allen...

hmmm... hooking up... of course I meant what I meant

baahhh.. that's what I figured... girls make it so difficult for us guys to remain pure..




rriigghhtt... maybe not now, but soon and for the rest of your life...

Now you just jump to such conclusions...

How on earth do you know what I meant from that post?

All I said was I meant what I meant...

What I meant was just connecting for an "outing" (didn't wanna call it a date, cos it's with someone you don't wanna "date")

LoL...Allen, do you know something I don't???

baaahh to the both of yous...

I read today that you divide the girl's salary by the guy's and that's what base they get to on the first date...

ok, back on topic and quit leading me down unrighteous paths...

How important is romance in today's dating climate?

Like he would make more money than I do...

Romance? Uhmmm depends on who you ask. For some people romance is everything, to others it's not that important at all. But I'm sure most people enjoy dinners at nice restaurants, moonlight walks, movies, small gifts and nice words

Myself, I am not that romantic... I think the wining and dining, flowers and chocolate (at least in the beginning) is just an excuse to get to the next base *ducks* Forget all that, let's make out!!

Seriously, you need time together just the two of you. And you need to feel special and loved by the other one. Sharing an interest is always a good thing - you can watch your fave team play or go to a concert with your fave band etc Find out what kind of things he/she likes. A special gift for a special reason is always a good thing Some (me!) like gag gifts because only you two know the real meaning behind it

It's all about appreciate and being appreciated

Quoting my very first post on this board (!!):
I don't want him to do things for me that he has done for every other woman he has dated, and will do for all the women he will meet. Flowers; yes but what flowers do I like, I am allergic to some - which ones? Chocolate; yummy but I am allergic to nuts, I don't like mint or orange and NO I dont care if I possibly will get fat by eating the whole box!


aleina

Romance is very important to me...it's not the most important thing...but it's pretty important...after I've gotten to know the person a little, though. I really can't stand it when I am just getting to know a guy and he starts getting all wierd and mushy on me...like this one guy who I went out with one time and he showed up @ midnight on my doorstep the next night with a dozen roses and a thank you card. Can you say psycho??? "thanks for the great time" he said...and then continued with something disgusting about looking into my eyes and his troubles melting away. *GAG* One date? Well, yes. It ended there.
But there was one guy who...well, he knew how to play the cards right...he got to know me...courted me, I guess you could say...just took me out to lunch with his mom and took me to the store and spent time with me and got to really know me. He would call me at odd hours of the day, but not obsessively...just call to talk. Sometimes just to say hi. No advances, no flowers, no mushy stuff...that, to me was romantic...that he would take such careful measures to get to know me before trying to be all kissing on my hand and junk. Then one night he asked me if I might think of him in a romantic sort of fashion...what I mean, he said..is...um, (stumbling over his words...which I absolutely adored). I interrupted him with a "yes" and the next night he showed up at my job (I worked @ McD's) for my break, and he had candles with him. We sat outside at the picnic table with burgers and fries and candles. Within a few months we were sitting together on the tailgate of his truck...him with his guitar, and me with a starry sort of gaze in my eyes as he sang stuff to me like "keeper of the stars"...and some of his original stuff. He was dedicatin' songs to me in front of his friends when he would do karaoke (sp?), and he got to know my family...mowed the grass with my dad, played catch with my sister...discussed politics with my mom...(Even though he didn't really like her)...and we would fall asleep on the phone with each other and wake up the next morning to hear each other's alarms on the other end of the line.
Silly, yes...but I thought it was pretty romantic...I don't think I'd go for the whole falling asleep together on the phone, but the rest I really do miss...I miss being adored. I've been stalked, I've been idolized by wierd, strange people...I've had my privacy invaded...but he was the only one I was ever in a relationship with who really seemed to adore and respect me. Of course one day out of the blue he disappeared and I found out that he had run off with a married hooker and ended up living with she and her soon to be ex husband...and her 3 children...but that's another story!
Now I am a little --notice I said a little-- more mature as that was a whole 5 1/2 years ago...I value many other things above the romance...number one probably being that he has to be head over heels in love with God...and he has to love my child as his own...and he has to be head of the household material...share most of my values...but yes, I do want to be swept away a little...where's the fun if there's no romance? You gotta be a little crazy in love sometimes..

I hated him up until that point

hahah sorry, but it's funny reading it now... prolly wasn't then

What is too mushy for the first few dates?