Good evening,
There is nothing for you to be sorry about. Every person who journeys on the quest to fill the void, the hole within the human soul must find out two things. One: Who is Jesus? and Two: Who is Jesus to them? Both questions are of equal importance and must both be answered for body, mind, and soul to be in unity. For Jesus Christ is King of Kings and Lord of Lords but the way He is Jesus to me will be different from the way He is Jesus to you-for you and I are different people. So I encourage to continue in the quest for though the journey is a real pain in the butt, the reward of knowing Jesus in a personal and intimate way is without equal in this world. Remeber God believes in you.
I'll be praying for you.

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- John

We are all praying, and...
You can pray too.
Even if you never have, even if it feels like nobody is listening, tell God everything.
Have you ever read the book of Job? It's kinda long, but the first 2 chapters tell what happened to him. Job says in chapter 10

David wrote in Psalm 22

Yet both Job and David trusted God. They trusted Him enough to say things like that to Him. You can too. If it is hard for you, find someone to pray with. Listen to them pray for you, and let them help you pray. God is waiting for you to come to Him, and He will wipe away your tears.

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KayKay...remember that thing you said about wanting to be happy like us? Well, I don't know if you caught it or not, but in my first post when I was talking about the night that I accepted Jesus, I told you about the guy who had something I wanted. I was where you are right now. I didn't know if Jesus could accept me as I was, but I knew that I WANTED WHAT THAT GUY HAD. And I have it. You can have it too. If you don't know the words to say, then maybe your friend could pray with you. Or one of us could pray with you. You really need to find someone who you can trust and tell them what you are going through so that maybe they can better answer your questions. Ask anyone here. No one will refuse your request. If you wanna talk with someone over the private forums so that everyone does not have to see, then that is okay. But find someone to talk to. We all have hearts full of nothing but the love of Jesus, and we want to share it with you. Give us a chance to show you that He really does love you. You can have the happiness and the peace that you so desperately need. It is in Him. We are all praying for you and would be happy to pray with you if you would like us to.

Hi KayKay, I wanted to drop back in and tell you that even though you may not feel loved right now I can assure you that this bunch of folks truly does. Ask yourself why is it that any group of people would reach out for me so passionatly??? The answer in most parts of the world is that they must want something from me. The really neat thing is when you are being reached for by someone who loves God they will gain nothing by doing it! That sounds odd by the system we all know today doesn't it? Ask yourself who gains by you trusting and believing in God? Us? nope, God? unh-uh again, You? Bingo you got it. You KayKay are the winner in this scenario.

I do not know your pain, but I do know pain, mine was/is a different kind. But God was bigger still, He is bigger than your pain also, friend. I have two links that I would like you to read. The first one is part of my testamony that the Holy Spirit had me put into lyrics for a song (Just click the yellow words) I ran from God for many years and He took me back and made me His son again!!!
My song!
The second is a page that if you so choose can lead you to your salvation. While it has a specific prayer on it, that is not what is necessary. Your salvation is a heart issue, not a matter of recited words. The words are there to help you if you do not know what to say.Click the pic or the words!
<IMG SRC=\"http://sites.net...d5.gif\" border=0>Get Jesus Here

If you have personal questions or wish to talk privatly send me an email.

God bless you
Steve

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When God is all you've got; God is all you need!

Men's Ministry Home!

Send me an email!
Slattier@JESUSaves.every1.net

I pray for you too, KayKay. This hurts my heart, in a real way.

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- David
- http://www.truckwerks.com/

Just thought I'd drop by and see how you're doing. Hope your day is going well. Always know that God believes in you and loves you KayKay. Praying for you always.


On a side note, Steve your lyrics were awesome man. Keep writing for the King.

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- John

I need help. I need help. Jesus, if your there, and if your everything these people say you are, then I need you. I'm sorry for all the stupid things I've done. I'm sorry for being so bad. I'm sorry. If you can forgive me please do it. I NEED YOU. Oh, God if your what they say you are and you can do the things they say you can do then I need you to do them in me. I don't understand how you can take all this hurt and I don't understand how you can stop what I'm feeling but if you can do it, please do it. Please. If someone is out there, and hearing me, I'm sorry but I have to go away for a while. A long while. It's a long story but this is it. I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone, or made anyone sad but you guys have made me realize some things. I'm not there yet but hopefully soon I will be.

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I'M HERE!!!! I'M HERE!!!! Dangit.........don't go...........Gosh, if you ever read here again know that your going the right direction now. And yes, God is everything we say He is and MORE. The more is the fun part! Know also that one thing God ALWAYS hear is a broken heart. One more thing.....we're on your side, rooting for you, praying for you and loving you everyday. You don't know it yet, but you are there......right where God wants you.

~Alanna

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"...It's all about you, all about you Jesus..."

Sad to see you go. Wish you would stop apologizing to us. If we feel sad for you it is only because we care about you so much. If your prayer was sincere--and I'm sure it was--then God will hear you. Give Him time. He will answer you. He will replace your hurt with a love so strong for Him that nothing will be able to shake it. He welcomes you with open arms. If you are out there reading this, just know that we are still praying for you, and HE HEARD YOUR PRAYERS. He hears every word you say. Every thought you think. He feels your pain. Every tear you cry...He wants to wipe it away. LET HIM dry your tears. Let Him comfort you. Let Him do with your heart whatever He wants to do. You will not regret it.

All I can say is: Amen! (I agree!)

KayKay, know that we continue to pray for you, always. If it appears that we are sad for you, it is only because we have been where you are and know a little of the hurt you are going through. God hears the prayers of a broken heart.

Also, please know that all we tell you of God's love cannot even begin to tell you of the depth and width of it! We are barely even scratching the surface of His love!

When you are able, drop in and tell us how you are doing... we would love to hear it. If you need someone to talk to, page our voice mail at: 409-785-7527 or me at: 409-868-9189. I am not the best talker, but I listen real well...

God bless you,

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Allen

O I am so sorry to see you leave. Please come back and see us again! Know that your walk with God is just that, a walk. It will take you from place to place. It does not hurry but it never stops!!! I rejoice for your reception of the Lord Jesus! Congratulations! The angels in heaven let forth a shout as you uttered that prayer.!!

God loves you and so do I!

<IMG SRC="http://sites.netscape.net/slattier/lovebar1.gif" border=0>

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When God is all you've got; God is all you need!

Men's Ministry Home!

Send me an email!
Slattier@JESUSaves.every1.net

KayKay -
I am going to tell you a little story in hoping that you will read this because it might just be the answer to your pain. There was this girl that I once knew , you could say she had it all. She looked good on the outside, she was popular, cheerleader, and people always said she had a smile that could light up a room when she came in. But little did all these people know what she looked like on the inside. She hated herself with a passion. She got up everyday and painted a smile on her face in hoping that no one would be able to see the pain. and she did a good job at it because for years no one ever knew. She did terrible things to others and she did terrible things to herself. She eventually became so numb from the pain that she could not feel anything any more , but most of all she could not feel LOVE and GOD is love , so she began to question and even get angry at this man they call God !!!!! She would cry out for help and not see it , she would pray and hear no answer. So guess what happens next...... she gave up on God and let the voices in her head get the best of her. one night after drinking herself into oblivian she decided that this was it , she could not stand the hell that she had created for herself and tries to commit suicide. she jumped off a bridge, but this is the climax-- SHE LIVED !! Now my question to you is , Who do you think saved her ? Well I know because I used to be that girl. you might as well have been typing what I felt a year ago or even a few weeks ago. see when I jumped from that bridge I was giving up and God surprised me and said no this is not your time and you ARE beautiful because I created you. And as I began my new life I decided that their was only one person that would be in control and it was not me it was God. the questions you asked are questions that i have searched for and still am searching for them. there is one answer that i know for SURE God does not do it to you , YOU do it to yourself !! See I created the pain and i did all those things that kept me from God not God . because God wants us to be HAPPY , He wants us to laugh, and most of all he wants us to see what he sees in us ....and that is that we are beautiful no matter what we have done or what we will do He is the same God yesterday , today and forever. He is the one person that can not hurt us, and he is the only person that can help us. I went to doctors and they could never do what he did for me which was love me just the way I was and most of all help me grow and see what I can become with him as my guide. It is like this Life can be scary , no it can be terrifing . sometimes the pain can consume your body and you can't move , and you want to give up. yes i even think that again sometimes, but God sent His son to die for our sins and when Jesus was on that cross with a pain far greater than you and I put together, He thought of you KAy Kay at that moment He felt your pain and he saw your face and he heard your cries, and he saw your sins and your past and your present and yes he saw your future. And because he LOVED you soooooooooo much he died for YOU because you were on his MIND and HEART !!! so yes he can help you and yes he will help you because I AM LIVING PROOF !!!! My favorite scripture is Proverbs 31:25 " She is clothed with dignity and STRENGTH and she CAN laugh at the days to come." That is you and you can but most of all you WILL and HE WILL guide you !! I promise and I have complete faith that you will se what I see when I look in the mirror and that is Strength, beauty, confidence , love, joy, laughter, but most of all i see GOD !!! Beacause it is HIM in me that makes me all those things and he is in you and I PRAY that you will wake up and look in the mirror day by day and begin to see the change and the love that he has for you. I hope this has helped but most of all i hope you read it !!! and when times get hard repeat this in your head , " THiS TO WILL PASS" I did and it did !!!!
Peace in Christ-
Kasey


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Beautiful Kasey, thank you. I knew you could relate to this as well.

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Allen

if you want god to help you then dont worry about what you look like or if you have to change your life style or even if he can love you just go get prayed for and leave every thing at the alter dont worry about how you look or what you act like of course god loves you he sebt his one and only son to die for your sins in the bible it says by his stripes we are healed there not jokin because when you pray and turn everything over to god your life just becomes so much better you will forget all about suicide because when you are saved then god will take out those old nasty desires you used to have in your heart and out in new ones that you will desire even more and the best thing is god will give you the desires of your heart and will make you closer to him if you allow him to,,, but dont think lifes peachy when you get saved because satan will through every thing that hes got at you because he knows that gods got a hold on you and he cant stand that one bit but satan will lie to you any way he can to get you to quit goin to church but dont do it cuz you need gods word every day and you need to pray every day and god will help you through your battles and if you mess up yeah thats bad but god doesnt hate you for any reason so if you messup then just ask god to forgive you and he will ,,,,, you know what you dont even have to be in church to get saved the bible says that if you confess with your mouth that jesus is lord and believe in your heart that he sent his son to die for us on calvary and rose jesus from the dead then you are saved just read romans 10:9 god bless you and you are in my prayers


love

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- the holey roller

One of the most awesome parts of being a Christian is experiencing Gods love. And I think that every Christian has had doubts about it sometime or another. But No matter what you have done, or how bad things get. GOD LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!!!!!!! And not only does he love you because he made you, he loves you because he bought you when he sent his son to die for you! You are his twice! you are his because He made you, and He sent his only son to die for you. Whatever it is that you can't forgive yourself of He has already died for it. So accept his forgiveness. Jesus wants to show you his mercy and grace. His love and forgiveness will take away all the guilt and shame. Trust me, I traded all of my doubts, fears and sins that I could not erase For his love and acceptance and mercy. From the height of your weakness to the lowest depth of your sin, he has forgiveness. When it feels like no one could love you and all hope is lost...He has counted every tear. When you think you have tried everything and have no where else to turn...God has the solution. Hope is a word that every hurting heart understands, and God is greater than any obstacle in your path. Nothing in this world can block his love for you, and no grief is to hard for Him to bear. He made you and he bought you. And he knows EVERYTHING about you and still loves you so much, He wants you to accept his love and let Him heal you. And trust me...He can!
I John 4:19 "We can love Him, because he first loved us!"

~*~Karebear~*~

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Chekin (no not chicken) CHEKIN in on ya. Kay Kay I pray everything is going better or at least God's hand is more evindent to you. I'm not sure what He's bringing you through, but I do believe that those who satan attacks a lot must be the mightiest in the kingdom. Why else would he bother so much?

hang in there and Keep Searching For HIM.

innerdawg

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its true, theres no get out of jail free card while serving on this earth. the father of lies wants to keep you this way-in doubt etc. thats his game plan. ''misery loves company'' is his motto. anything that throws your past in your face is NOT from God. not after you have given your life to Him, HE forgives and its stays forgiven. the devil has you to believe otherwise. I know. being abused is not your fault. dont buy that. just get out if you can. if not, we may could give you a number to call. this sounds serious . first step is done, youve reached out to us, thats good. [; these folks are like angels to me. i was where you are now. not patronizing. you can ask forever. im a walking rollercoaster with emotions.

unlike Forever's happy ending. not everyone should expect a prince to complete you or rescue. some guys are good actors. but men are real . id like to believe that. been single for a long time since annulment from the wrong guy.

I haven't exactly had a happy ending. First of all, my prince charming doesn't completeme. He compliments me. God is the one who completes me...and secondly, I've had an uphill battle to get to the point where I am now, and even though I praise God for the things He's brought me through, I'm not at my plateau yet. I'm still struggling uphill. I still fight depression occaisionally, and anger. Deep anger. It's manifested itself in some very ugly forms...and my husband? Well, he is wonderful, but he also struggles with anger, depression, low self esteem, lust...etc. It's a fight, but as long as we keep fighting, we know that we will be victorious because we've been made more than conquerors through Christ, and we will OVERCOME! But the key is to keep going and to wait on God. Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up on wings as eagles. The will run and not be weary. They will walk and not faint.

Getting a guy will not make you happy, even if he is the right guy. Even if he is everything you've ever wanted in a man, the relationship can never be healthy if both people involved are not stable.

I initially made a mistake in getting together with my husband. We were both unstable, both far from God, we did EVERYTHING wrong, and none of it according to God's Word. We shacked up, had sex before marriage...etc. But because we chose to turn to God, things are looking up. We are in the healing process. And sometimes healing hurts almost worse than being sick...like a heroin addict or an alcoholic who is having withdrawals. Getting off the junk can kill you when even the junk itself didn't. (Would eventually, but hadn't yet.)

But we are better...and we will continue to get better. But what if I would have turned my life over to God and he would have chosen not to? I hate to think of the turmoil I would be in right now...God turned my bad decision to get with a man who was not right for me, and He has honored the vows that I made and turned this man into the right man for me, and me into the right woman for him because we chose to repent.

But by no means did my marraige save me. In fact, it almost killed me in the beginning...

sorry, really didnt mean to hurt. I agree with you. truly. you of all know men dont compltete us, only God! [; you are right.