i went over to my friend's boyfriends house to get something from her, while they were supposedly babysittin his 4 year old neice. As soon as we walked in the door there were guys askin if we wanted to by a sack of weed. The house reeked of weed and cigarettes w/ just a hint of alcohol. The guys were in the livin room smokin weed so i went straight to the bed room to get my gift. Well when we were leavin i asked my friend were the lil girl was who they were supposed to be babysittin (cuz i figured her mom had already picked her up) and she casually replied "in the livin room w/ the guys." (who were all smokin weed) I couldnt believe what i was hearin! That poor child! I mean if they want to mess up their own lives then thats their choice..but they have no right to put that lil girl through that! So I mean I guess just please pray that some how that lil girl can get out of the situation she's in now cuz apparently that's 'normal' to her. Also pray for all the people who party over there everynight. Man do they need Jesus!!

Aimes

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..hiding behind the tooth pick..

will do aimes... thank you for bringing them up...

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- Allen

<IMG SRC="http://stand318.com/ubb/ribbit.gif" border=0>

This prayer request brings up one of the most horrible memories that I have ever had. Back in my unsaved days when I was dating the man who is now the biological father of Celeste, I didn't care what kind of people I associated with. I wasn't heavy into drugs, and I didn't hang out with the crowd I was with because I WANTED drugs, I just wanted to be accepted. I turned a blind eye on what was going on because I thought I was "in luuuuv". And yes, because I was curious, I tried once or twice. And unfortunately, I did inhale. But mostly, I just wanted to be with this guy come hell or high water and there was nothing that could change my mind. He was a good guy despite all of his little quirks. Sure he got a little violent when he mixed alcohol with another drug. But he would never hit me. He loved me! And yea, he was working at the job that he had because he passed his drug test illegaly by having his friend urinate in a bottle that he put on my dashboard in front of the heater to keep it warm on the trip to the clinic. But it was okay. They were unfair for making him take a drug test in the first place. He was a good worker despite the fact that he did a little drugs on the side. It was just a little...and it wouldn't last forever, right?
Sure he didn't have a car and he couldn't keep a steady job for more than 4 months...he just hadn't found the right one yet...
Sure I was 17 and he was 24...but age is just a number, right? He would settle down once we got married and had a kid. He would be a good father! Riiiiight? Only problem was, he wanted me to get married RIGHT NOW. But that was good right? It's usually the guy who runs away from committment. So this was a sign that I had found a keeper, right?
One night, I was at his house (despite the wishes of my parents, I might add) and it was a typical night. Surround sound system blaring so loud that the windows rattled (he couldn't afford a car, but he had a 10,000 dollar sound system and over a thousand CD's...) Smoke so thick that when you opened the door, it litteraly billowed out (and we're not talking Marlboro smoke here, folks), and broken glass all over the floor from the bottles and the bongs that got stepped on. The place reeked not only of weed, but of alcohol because it was spilled all over the floor. Vomit in the ashtrays, vomit on the couch. A few people relieved themselves wherever they were sitting, so it smelled of urine as well. And in comes Raquel and her common law husband with their 6 month old. Raquel had to go to work, so she was leaving her hubby and child over there. She kissed them goodbye and left. I asked the baby's father if the noise and smoke would hurt her, and he nodded that I had a good point, and he proceeded to take the baby to the bedroom at the end of the trailer, put her carrier on the bed, and lock her in. Now, it is December here. One of the coldest winters that we have seen in SE Texas. The year of the freeze where all of the trees and streets froze over for days...There is allready no heat besides the body heat and burning smokes, neither of which the baby has. Alone, in a room where smoke is leaking in through the cracks, music is surely blaring and scaring her half to death, and here she is crying up a storm, but no one hears her. Except for me. After about 15 minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I went into the room. Looked at the wall, and in the dark, I could see a poster on the wall. Glow in the dark. Karma Sutra positions. Yuk! The baby is staring right at them! I turned her carrier to face the other wall. But now, she was staring at a life sized picture of a naked woman in a compromising position. The only light in the room was a soft pastel light that shone right on it. I was feeling a bit drowsy from all of the smoke (I had stayed completly sober that night, but the second hand was getting to me), so I fell asleep with my body covering the baby carrier. I woke up Lord only knows how much time had elapsed, and the baby was screaming. Her poor body was burning up, and she was trying to vomit, but it was draining back down because she was on her back. I picked her up and rushed her outside so that she could breathe. The smoke was so bad in the room now that the door might as well not have been closed. I paced back and forth with her for a good 10 minutes in the cold, and she wouldn't stop coughing and screaming. I tried to feed her, but the dad said he forgot her diaper bag in the car and her mom had the car...SO I called her mom at work and said that her baby was feverish and choking and I was holding her outside so that she would be out of the smoke, and she cussed me out for bringing her baby into the cold night air. She hung up on me. I went inside and gave the baby to her dad, tears streaming down my face, and told my boyfriend that we had to do something. He started kissing all over me and said sure we had to do something. We had to go in the other room and get away from all these people, that's what we had to do...I got angry with him for thinking about sex at such a time, and it made him angry because I WASNT thinking about sex at such a time...I saw a side of him that I had never seen before. That is when I started having second thoughts about being with him for the rest of my life. What kind of father would he be if he would let a child be treated like this in his own home? I left that night confused and hurt both emotionally and physically. As for the baby, rumor got around that she developed pneumonia and slipped into a coma. I don't know whether or not she came out of it or not, but the doctors said that if she did, she would be severely brain damaged.
I felt sorry for myself for a long time after that night, but looking back, I had a choice. I could have listened and not been there. What choice did the baby have?
So sad that the most innocent ones in those situations are the ones who end up getting hurt the most...

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Michelle

wow, i didnt think i could cry anymore today, but that story sure brought the tears out! That poor child! I dont see how people can put their kids through that. But i guess all they're really thinkin about is the drugs!
But i gotta say..everything you described about your relationship w/ that guy is exactly what's happenin w/ my friend and her boyfriend. She's been datin him for over a year now and its really hurt her friendship w/ practically all her friends (sadly includin our friendship) and i mean we've tried everything. Her parents have even forbid her to see him and she just sneaks out. I mean none of us know what to do anymore..cept pray! (which is poweful) Is there anything else that you think could help get her outta this relationship before its too late?

Aimes

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..hiding behind the tooth pick..

Sadly enough, I don't think that anyone could have said or done anything to change my mind about the way I felt about him. I was a stubborn headstrong kid who just wanted to live up to the expectations of "love" that were set in the movies. Rebel against the odds and find love at any cost. That is one of the reasons why I do not watch romantic movies now. Whenever I do, I still feel that longing to have that kind of relationship. And that is not the pattern that God has set for relationships. I want what God has for my life, and I want nothing less. But I can't lie and say that I never feel the longing for someone RIGHT NOW. I'm human.
Adam and Eve had it easy, huh? They didn't have to guess...Well, is she/he really the one for me? haha.
Anyway, back to your friend. My parents forbade me to see this guy too. And guess what I did? I snuck out too. Or snuck him over to my house when no one was home. Real good business...
The more people told me to stay away from him, the more I wanted to be with him. I really thought I was in love. Honestly did. So I felt hurt and betrayed when people told me I shouldn't be with him. I felt like they didn't give a hoot about my happiness. They just didn't want me to be happy that's what it was...
The only thing I think would have helped me was if I had met someone who had been through the same thing before me. But then again, maybe that wouldn't have helped either. I think the only thing that changed my mind in the end was the Holy Spirit making me literally sick when I even thought about him. Prayers of family (mostly my mother, I think), and finally seeing his violent side and how cruel he could really be. I had to learn the hard way. I will pray that your friend wises up before she ends up getting seriously hurt. If there is anything I can do, let me know.

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Michelle

wow, everything you've said is like EXACTLY what my friends' goin through right now. I mean it's scary..i feel like i'm readin something she would write me. I'm gonna talk to her next time i see her and see if i get talk her into spendin the night w/ me monday night so she can go to Stand! So please pray she will be able to come!!

Aimes

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..hiding behind the tooth pick..

Bringing her to stand would be awesome. First and foremost though, my advice to you would be don't lecture her. If she is in the state of mind that I was in, it will only make her push you away and cling to him more. My guess is that she is not in love with him--she is in love with the idea of being in love. And when that idea or dream seems that it is just within your grasp, you will push anything out of the way that tries to come between it and you. Be there for her. Tell her that you think she deserves better. But don't tell her that she is not in love or that she needs to smarten up. Although these are probably true, the timing is probably not right. Your job is to pray for her and get her in the position where the Holy Spirit can work to change her heart. You may not see it happen immediately. Don't get impatient. Keep the prayers coming. God listens. If I had been in the care of friends like you when I was in that position, I think things would have turned out much differently. It is much easier to listen to your friends/peers than it is to listen to your family unfortunately. Or at least that is how it was for me. But I had no friends that were bold enough in Christ to pray for me or even try to encourage me to strive for something better.
But remember that no matter what she decides, the responsibility is not on your shoulders. You can only do so much. Just be there for her. If you have an older female friend that you trust, maybe you should encourage your friend to talk to her or pray with her. Above all, pray pray pray.
God Bless. I'll be praying for you and her also.

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Michelle

thank you for all your help!

Aimes

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..hiding behind the tooth pick..

Aimes,

I will continue to pray for the family and the lil girl!!!

Purity

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Love,Joy,Peace,
and Holiness Always