It's Thanksgiving and I thankful for...

- God for His many blessings

- my family - best in the world

- my friends - for they are long-suffering and don't hold grudges

- the country I live in, the state I live in, and the great people of my home town.

- my wife - she has no idea what she got herself into

great Thanksgiving this year - got to see lots of relatives I haven't seen in years, spend time with my family, and rest a bit from the last hectic month or so

that is so cool. i am thankful for :

my children for they are all that i am.

my husband, who, for some reason loves me beyond all my BIG and little flaws.

my family. they are so dad-gum nuts and still i find comfort in their prescence.

my home, it is the most beautiful place that my kids can call home and i have made it warm and cozy and it is what my husband works so hard for to make me happy (that would be a double for my hubby)

my sister, because she loves me and "gets" me and still has a long way to go before she understands what is "important" but yet she still listen and loves with reckless abandon.

my friends. my prayer group. my warriors. my life support. everything i need and more than i could hope for.

To My Online Friends:

As the holidays approach, my heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from nor send packages by UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me. Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)

I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (CDT) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next-door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.


Have a wonderful 2006!!

* applause*

Bravo!