Chapter 6

Few of us will embrace the difficult challenge of being rejected. In Phillippian 3:10, the apostle Paul stated the deepest desire of his impassioned heart: "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his suffering." A vital and admittedly painful part of God's conforming process in our lives is our willingness to fellowship with Christ in His sufferings. The first suffering of Christ recorded in the Gospel of John is found in the eleventh verse of chapter one: "He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him." Rejection. Remember, these were Christ's own people. He loved them. His heart must have longed to be accepted by them. The Hebrew people shared a sense of community with which we have little to compare in our society. To be excluded from the fellowship and acceptance of that community was considered a fate worse than death by many. In fact, Scripture tells us that certain Pharisees who really wanted to beleive were afraid to express their acceptance of Christ for fear of the same rejection. John's Gospel also tells us that Christ was rejected by His own brothers. If you've never experienced rejection, you might be wondering whether suffering is too strong a word for it; however, if you've been rejected by someone you love, you'll agree that few injuries are more excruciating.
Rejection in and of itself is not a stronghold. Our reaction to rejection determines whether we become bound by it. Only God knows the tragic number of His own children who have allowed themselves to be imprisoned by continuing feelings of rejection for the rest of their lives. Getting over rejection is not easy; but it is possible for every single person who puts his or her heart and mind to it to overcome. Overcoming rejection is God's unquestionable will for your life if you belong to Him. How do you overcome rejection? By applying large doses of God's love to your wounded heart daily and by allowing Him to renew your mind until the rejected thinks like the accepted.
Jesus Christ will never leave you or forsake you. He will never cast you away. He is incapable of suddenly deciding He no longer wants you. If you have received God's Son as your Savior, nothing you can do will cause Him to reject you. Believe what God's Word tells you about Him and about yu. You are defined by the love and acceptance of the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. He happens to think you are worth loving....and keeping. Find your identity in Him.

In a sense we are all, in some way, outcasts until we meet the Lord. We are thirsty for people to love and accept us. We drink from many wells to try to satisfy our longings, but eventually, we tire of always having to draw water to get our needs met. Each of us asks, Isn't there someone who will give me water without manipulating me or requiring me to jump through hoops for it? Isn't there someone who will love me just for who I am? Then Jesus appears at high noon.
(Cynthia Heald, A Woman's Journey to the Heart of God)

For the sake of Your great name, Lord, You will not reject Your people, because You, Lord, were pleased to make me Your own. (1 Sam. 12:22)

Father God, I ask You to lead me when I'm blinded by ways I have not known, along unfamiliar paths please guide me; Lord, turn the darkness into light before me and make the rough places smooth. I pray these are the things You will do; I know You will not forsake me. (Isa. 42:16)

Deut. 23:5
Josh. 23:10-11
Isa. 54:5-8
Deut 4:31
Jer 29:11-14
Luke 6:22-23
Ps. 41:9-12
2 Sam. 22:29-37

great message Haze, which book is this?

My post of 6/16/03...I'm currently reading Beth Moore's Praying God's Word..Breaking Free from Spiritual Strongholds

Chapter 7 - Overcoming Addiction (Praying God's Word - Breaking Free from Spiritual Strongholds - Beth Moore)

Addiction is one of the cruelest of all yokes because it deceives us unmercifully and ruthlessly. It comes to us like a friend, promising to bring comfor. It kisses us on the cheek like Judas, stealing from our treasury, then rents us for a cheap fee to the opposition. Addiction is a yoke that convinces us we must wear it to survive. Nothing makes us feel more powerless. No ungodly master is a more unyielding dictator. Countless people, even those in the family of our faith, have concluded that they are hopeless to overcome this relentless beast. After more failures than they can bear to count, many believers accept earthly defeat as compulsory and await freedom that will only come in heaven. The accuser of the brethren chides them constantly with his tally of failurs and convinces them that they are unable to derail the miserable cycle of self-loathing.
No matter whether your addictions are to substances or behaviors, God can set you free. What He requires from you is time, trust, and cooperation. The immense power of an addiction is rarely broken in a day. God has as much to teach us as He has to show us. He could show us His power by instantaneously setting us free from all desire for our stronghold. Often, however, God chooses the process of teaching us to walk with Him and depend on Him daily. Few things beyond our salvation are "once and for all." If He delivered us instantly, we would see His greatness once, but we would soon forger....and we'd risk going back. On the other hand, if God teaches us victory in Christ Jesus day by day, we live in the constant awareness of His greatnes and His sufficiency. Hard lessons are often long-lasting lessons. Never forget that God is far more interested in our getting to know the Deliverer than simply being delivered.
Begin to see yourself like the young shepherd boy, David, when he dared to take a stand against his Goliath. David wasn't blind. He was realistically aware of the mammoth size of his foe. What was the key to his courage? David knew that Goliath was not only his enemy. Far more improtant--he was God's enemy! Long before the apostle Paul was inspired to write Romans 8:31, David dared to believe, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" When David saw the Philistine champion from Gath step out and shout "his usual defiance," he asked, "Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?" No matter how long your addiction has shouted its usual defiance at your attempts to fight it, reaalize that your enemy is also God's enemy. It is a means by which Satan himself is seeking to defy the army of the living God. Call upon God to rise up in anger toward the enemy that binds you and fight him in your behalf with a holy vengeance. God could fight this one all alone. He doesn't need your help; however, God reserves the right to involve us in our own victories. so get ready to fight. Overcoming addiction may be the battle of your life. But it will also be the most rewarding, liberating victory of your life. It will be your own Goliath story for the rest of your days.
Realize that God's unquestionable will is your freedom from this yoke, but also trust that He has written a personalized prescription for your release. Remember when King Saul offered young David his armor to wear as he opposed Goliath? "Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them...So he took them off. Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put thme in the pouch of his shepherd's bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine" (1 Sam. 17:38-40). God may have used a method to set someone else free that doesn't work as effectively for you. Perhaps the success of others has done little more than increase your discouragement and self-hatred. Don't let the enemy play mind games with you. God's strength is tailor-made for weakness. We are never stronger than the moment we admit we are weak. Seek God diligently and ask Him to show you the way to victory.

I confess to You that I am overwhelmed by the task ahead, but I am thankful that You have authority over all things. Heaven is Your throne and earth is Your footstool (Matt. 5:35); therefore, anything over my head is under Your feet.

Lord, I confess all the sin involved in my addiction to You, and I thank You that You are always faithful and just to forgive me of all my sin and purify me from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Although God Himself is never rushed to perfor His will on earth, there is one thing He does rush to. He rushes to the aid of His children. Often He does not intervene, however, until that lost child cries out for help. He rushes to answer the appeals for mercy from those who have walked their own way and suddenly find themselves trapped in their own snares. He is not willing that any should perish, but He waits for us to use our wills to turn to him.
Shawn Craig, Between Sundays

If you say there's no hope, you're listening to the father of lies (John 8:44). You've encountered the thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10)--the one who's determined to keep you a failure, to defeat you on every front he can. The only way you'll bring him down, the only way you'll extinguish those fiery arrows that will impale you on the stake of continuous defeat until you're consumed in its flmes of destruction is through the Word. His Word is truth, and it alone can sanctify you--set you apart for victory. You may think there's no recovery from your failure. But if you have God, you have a future--and it's not a dismal one.
Kay Arhtur, As Silver Refined

Often God seems to place His children in positions of profound difficulty, leading them into a wedge fro which there is no escape; contriving a situation which no human judgement would have permitted, had it been previously consulted...The issue wil more than justify Him who has brought you hither. It is a platform for the display of His almighty grace and power. He will not only deliver you; but in doing so, He will give you a lesson that you will never forget, and to which, in many a psalm and song, in after days, you will revert. You will never be able to thank God enough for having done just as He has.

Nothing lies beyond the reach of prayer except that which lies outside the will of God.
Mrs. Charles E. Courman, Streams in the
Desert

When fitted with the armor of God, we will not be blindsided by the fiery darts of the Enemy. Past failures lose heir power, for they have been dealt with. Present thoughts wil not overrun me, for I am in command of my thoughts and I make the final decision on what I believe. The opinions of others do not bombard me, for I have decided to believe what God says about who I am--regardless of what I or anyone else thinks.
Dennis Jernigan, This Is My Destiny

1 Pet. 5:8
1 Pet. 5:6
Phil. 3:8
Col. 1:10-12
1 Pet. 1:18-19

Overcoming Feelings Of Rejection!

I'll bite as this is what I face in my life today. And since Steve has already accused of being brazzen and bareing my heart... what can I say.

I guess Divorce could be considered a sort of ultimate form of rejection.

I did love her. (and still do)
My heart longs to be accepted by her.

Is suffering to strong a word? *chuckles* From where I sit today I would lean on the side of it not being strong enough to describe the true feelings that one experiences during this process.

So why do I feel rejected?

• My wife has divorced me.
• She has primary custody of the children.
• She has the house and all household furnishings that we acquired over our seventeen years together.
• She has told me and many others that I was a financial failure.
• She hinted very strongly as to what she would do if I fought this divorce, i.e. accusations against me about my relationship with our oldest daughter.
• While not directly to me but to others, "He's abandoned his children."

Now I know that most of these are lies and extreme variations on some truth to simply help her justify her decision and actions.

Financial Failure - This she told me to my face in one of her rare arguements. It was repeated to her very cloest friends many times over the last several years. From my prespective it is a not true. I know that we struggled financially, many times being completely broke. But in defense of myself I have to say tht she was a stay at home Mom for 13 years. She always had transportation, she always had a roof over her head, she always had food for us and the children. It might not have been beef and lobster but it was food.

We have many mutual friends that have lost their homes due to financial problems, found their belongings in the front yard as they were being evicted from their homes. Their automobiles picked up for non-payment and yes, even having to ask for help from others just to have food for themselves and their children. The really funny thing here is that two couples in particular have a very happy and satisfying marraige today and all of the above happened to them.

So......if I am a financial failure why was my wife able to stay at home and raise the children for 13 years. Why has she always been provided for. In my heart I know that I struggled, I know that I fell short of some of her expectations but I AM NOT a financial failure.

The real questions would be "If I know this, why can't I believe it? Why does it cause me to hurt so much to know that these are words she shared with many people? Is it pride, a blemish that she has imposed on my image. If I was a failure in this department why is it that she has always gotten her child support check on time each and every month since we were seperated?

Do I know the answers to most of these questions? Yes....but it still hurts and it is still hard to recover or get myself up from this pit that she and I have dug. Somebody needs to come and start throwing dirt in this hole so I can eventually walk out!

Abandoned my children. This too is a hoot. Yes, I fell short in her expectations but not as much as she makes it out to be. Her words..."He's never helped them with their homework", "He's never even signed any of their school papers...Why if you look back over the years it's always me who signed all the papers and did their homework."

OK....all of those are valid points and are very true. But to take them to the point of "Abandoned his children"! Please. Their homework was always done by the time I arrived home from work. All papers signed and neatly packed up in their bookbags for the next day.

So...once again. Are her words true. No...not to the degree that she has put upon them but they hurt. They still continue to hurt today. I still find myself trying to logically come up with something that would explain these words. Heavens...I hate being a logical minded person...like trying to put a puzzle together but not having all the pieces. So even I know that these words are not true why do they hurt so much. I love my kids, have always loved my kids and will always love them. As they will me.

And ouch! The last thing that she said to me was "I am really concerned about the time that you spend with OD. It concerns me when I see you two staying up late together and watching TV or falling asleep on the couch" Just me on my head please! She later carried it a bit futher when she included the statement that since she was not meeting my sexual needs she was concerned that I might be attracted to our daughter. I spent the next three days regualry puking when those thought set in.

Are they true? No way.....those children ans well as my wife are the most precious people in the world to me. The very thought fo that type of action makes me sick to my stomach. But......they still HURT! They hurt because my wife of seventeen years has somehow gotten involved in this weird web of deception and somehow believes this or must believe it to justify her position. And her parents have followed in her footsteps so I hear the saem thing from them.

Where does all this rambling get me. Self-esteem for myself is at the lowest it has ever been. I find it hard at times to even believe in myself simply because of her spoken words. Oh! God has taken me places where I have never been before. The love that I have for my wife and children are at a point where it has never been before. But I still find it hard pull myself up at times because those spoken words sometimes filter in through my defenses and I wonder...just wonder....if this is what she truly believes. And if so.....and then we spiral back down into the mirey clay. (Thanks for the song Steve...I say that because it is only through that one song you posted that I am reminded daily that God is big enough to get me out of this) The only problem is I want out and I want my wife to be with me.

So yes....I am thristy for people to accept me and many do. But I want my wife to accept me. Is that selfish? I am tired of drawing from others wells and want to draw from His well and I do....and yes, I want someone to love me for just being me. Oh! I know that God does...I accept that and even believe it. But it sure is funny that the words of one woman can almost totally erradicate the progress that I and God make.

In ending....a lady at work told me yesterday.

"Trusting, your wife has manipulated you into a worthless shell of a man and has you exactly where she wants you. She has you jumping through all of her hoops and each time you accomplish the last goal she set she raises the standard...always keeping it just one step out in front of you. STOP this game and become the man that God intends you to be. It is only when you do that and let her go completely that God can even begin to work in her. Let her see you with other women. Let her see you getting on with your life and your intrest. Will you ever stop loving her? Probably not....! But I tell you this because how she is treating you is exactly how I treated my first husband. I controlled and manipulated him into doing exactly what I wanted and it was only when I lost him completly (He remarried) that I hit rock bottom and began to let God work and mold me in the woman I was supposed to be. In my mind I knew and believed that no matter what I did he would always be there for me. That I could always fall back on him when everything else failed. Do I want you to remarry? No...God's perfect will for your first marriage is for it to be restored. But He will not begin to work until you let go and become the man that He wants you to be."

OK some good and some bad I guess but it sort of made sense. Mostly about the manipulation and jumping through hoops. But hey....I will survive!

*turns off rambling button*

God Bless Ya All

P.S. Completely random thought after I walked away from the computer.

Parents...adults...friends...leaders, choose the words you speak very carefully. Look at me, I'm a 42 year old adult who has experienced much in life. If the words of one woman whom you loved and trusted have this kind of effect on me....just think about the power and effect that our words have on our children and others that we come in contact with. Just a thought!