Hi Nicole, Yes submission is the right and biblical way for a marriage. It is just the definition of submission that the devil has a heyday with. That ol' slewfoot would like you to believe that it means that you just say yes to everything your husband says and thats not true, you are a wonderfully made creation of the Father and you have a purpose. In a marriage the wife brings qualities that the husband lacks and vice-versa. It is a partnership. Now submission comes in as a voluntary effort of a godly deserving wife to a godly deserving husband. That husband will SERVE his wife and family and that is how he will lead them! Here is a sneak peek at the next message that will get put on my website as I get time. This is the duties of a godly man.
The Makings of a Godly Man.
1. A Godly man must be accountable. In other words, like the expression goes "no man is an island" we all need brothers to back us up also to speak into our lives. The word "Brothers" is mentioned in the book of Acts about 40 times. Almost every time it is used it refers to men that believed and were united together for God, inseparable. These men worshipped together, worked together, and were even punished together. I don't want to imply that we should go to jail with our brothers, that's not accountability. I must ask do you have a brother in the Lord you can speak to, tell those private secret struggles to? That is the kind of accountability a Godly man seeks out. Can your brothers come to you and tell you they have sinned? Will you help them if they do? Do you seek out brothers in the faith even when you are not at church? Accountability means having someone around you that can speak into your life on a personal level BEFORE you sin. Temptation comes hard against a man who actively seeks the Lord, we need our brothers to watch our backs!
2. A Godly man is a leader in his "sphere of influence." Not every one of us is called to influence the same number of people. Some are called to be pastors, and evangelists, some dads or grandparents. In the realm of our calling we are supposed to lead. (Genesis 3:16, 1Corinthians 14:35, 1Peter 3:7) God was very clear who was supposed to lead. Mind you there is a HUGE difference between leading and bossing. "Every leader can always be a boss, but not every boss can lead!" Being a leader means that you have to die to yourself. Our own selfish desires and wants must not come into account when we make decisions for our families. Frequently what God wants for us and our families goes directly against our fleshly desires. Often times Leadership involves sacrifice. As a leader we are to sometimes stand between the enemy and those we are leading. (Ezekiel 22:30) Christ was our greatest example of a leader. He nurtured and taught those he led. He walked out to them in their storms (Matthew 14:25) and rescued them. Ultimately He gave His life for us.
3. A Godly man loves his wife with the sacrificial love of Christ. It was God's plan (is) that husbands and wives complete each other. The Bible says that wives must submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:24). If the husband is worthy and Godly then that wife is in a place higher than he and it is a place of esteem and honor. Look right away at the next verse which some love to ignore! (Ephesians 5:25) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Yeeeouwch! Exactly what are the connotations here? Jesus models for husbands how they must act, what did Jesus do exactly?
1. He loved the church
2. He taught the church
3. He grew the church
4. He lived 24/7 for the church, most of the time when Jesus needed something He did it during His sleep time while the church rested.
5. He served the church
6. He fed the church
7. He healed the church
8. He prayed for the church
9. When they were killing Him he asked that they be forgiven, though the church had not asked for forgiveness
10. He exchanged His life for the church so that they might be with Him in Heaven!
Those are the duties of a Godly man to his wife if he is not doing them then he is outside God's will. It is a hard road to travel for a man but it is God's will that it be this way.
4. A Godly man is a prayerful man. God is clear when He tells us that we men are to pray. This has been done more and more by woman in the body and men have set there and let them. God calls us to pray (1Timothy 2:8) as Godly men. (2Chronicles 2:14, Psalm 32:6) God even tells us why! If we look a few verses back in (Psalm 32:3) we can readily see the personal cost of a vapid or non-existent prayer life. The Bible is so clear in detailing the fact that if we want to even be sons of God we are to pray to Him (Matthew 5:44,45)
5. A Godly man steeps himself in God's word. It is a herd thing to do, disciplining yourself to read the Scriptures if you never have. Just look, did you know that disciple is the root word of discipline? Kind of thought provoking don't you think? The disciples followed Jesus many hundreds of miles (on foot) in his ministry, then many thousands of miles as apostles following the leadings of the Spirit. All God wants from you and I is to study the Book He, through His grace has provided. (2Timothy 2:15) As Godly men we must learn everything we can about God's word, for how can we be accountable, knowing right from wrong if we have not read it in God's word? How could we lead anyone if we have not read what direction God wants us to lead? How can you answer your wife's and children's questions if you haven't a clue yourself. The Bible tells your wife to submit to you, you need to be knowledgeable and worthy of her submission. You are to love your wife as Christ loved the church. It won't be possible unless you know the intimate details of what Christ did. We can't even pray unless we know how to pray? The Bible tells us the prayers of the righteous are heard by the Lord (1Peter 3:12). Well we cannot be righteous unless we know what righteousness involves.
6. A Godly man is complete in the Lord he is a whole person, well balanced. He is a servant and a leader. He is a priest in his home. He is a brother, a son, a father, a grandfather. Being a Godly man is a life-long mission. We will never "arrive" it is not something we can say OK I've done it. As soon as we reach a certain level just look up, you will find God has raised the bar.
God bless you
Steve
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When God is all you've got; God is all you need!
Men's Ministry Home! Send me an email!
Slattier@JESUSaves.every1.net
)? I definitely agree with the accountability brother... it is difficult for 
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