<FONT size="2"><FONT COLOR="blue">I could not log on yesterday (was too busy). I'm back

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<FONT size="2"><FONT COLOR="blue">Suicide. Four bottles of sominex, totaling 120 pills. I was having emotional problems and believed that if I killed myself, I would
cease to exist. </FONT s></FONT c>
<FONT COLOR="blue"><FONT size="2">LOL, yeaa, he was unreal! His theology needs some major renovations! </FONT s></FONT c>
<FONT size="2"><FONT COLOR="blue">I never call people names on the internet because it would cause me to lose my credability. I
still lose credibility with some people. Once I lose credability, I am no longer an effective witness for Jesus. People judge us by our:
1) actions
2) and our judgements of others (name calling is the same as judging that person).</FONT s></FONT c>
<FONT size="2"><FONT COLOR="blue">Let me deviate from your question for a moment and then I will answer you. When I died, I didn't see Jesus or any angels or anything wonderful. I committed suicide and I was going straight to hell!!! I had rejected Jesus. Most people who died and then return describe some wonderful experience. Well I am the
other extreme
: I was going to hell. My story is one of shame. I have no glory in telling people I was going to hell. I cannot hold my head up high. There is nothing good about suicide or going to hell.
I believed that when we die,
we cease to exist. The only thing I learned (when I died)
was that we continue to live. I relate to the following Bible quote very differently than most people
:</FONT s></FONT c>
<FONT size="2"><FONT COLOR="blue">Getting back to your question
: Since I now
knew that there
is a God, I chose to accept the Lord Jesus
(by faith). However, due to my suicide and my conscience, I had doubts about whether I was
good enough to enter the kingdom of heaven. One summer day, while I was alone and parked in my car in a movie theater parking lot, I was praying:
"Lord, I guess I'm going to heaven because the Bible says that if we believe in Jesus with all our heart, we will be saved." Suddenly a voice spoke from above, saying twice:
"You will enter the kingdom of heaven. You will enter the kingdom of heaven." Since that day, I have no doubts about my destiny to enter His kingdom. However, I encourage people to believe based upon the Word of God and
not on personal experiences, as I have described. </FONT s></FONT c>
<FONT size="2"><FONT COLOR="blue">The death experience made me an
instant believer in God. After I came back to life, I did not have any "church connections" or "church friends." None of my family was born again, so I was essentially on my own. I died when I was 17 and in that same year, I graduated high school and moved away from home to another state, where I was completely
on my own. By divine appointment (Romans 8:28), I moved into a house where the neighbor was a non-denominational preacher-man. He proselytized me and told me about Jesus and I accepted Him and was baptized. Then I moved again and ended up in Los Angeles.
In Los Angeles, many cults were proselytizing me. They would present a scripture
out of context to support a bogus thesis. I had
never read the Bible, so I could not challenge or refute their interpretations of the scripture. So I read the Bible - it took me four years! Well, I'm rambling…</FONT s></FONT c>
<FONT COLOR="#000000" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Helvetica, Arial">This message has been edited by me again on 03-08-2001 at 11:22 AM</font>